Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Who's ready for the first day of the rest of their lives?

Phil [upon getting an iPad]

Do I have time for a steam?

Manny

Gloria [at chess]: Look at this, papi!
Jay: Easy, you can't sing "We Are The Champions" without your Queen.

Claire: They're getting more in next week.
Phil: Next week? That's like the worst thing you can say to an early adopter.

You said that everything you needed to learn you'd learn from Westside Story.

Jay

Maybe you should come to the doctor and I'll ... get rid of it!

Phil

I was 11 years old. I hit ten straight fastballs in the batting cage, then my friend Jeff Sweeney took one in the groin. I yelled "ball two!" Everybody laughed. That's when I knew I was funny.

Phil

You're so cute when you're angry with you're little fists. I just want to put you in my pocket.

Cameron

Oh man, if a spider would have broken in here, he would have been in trouble.

Cameron [to Mitchell]

I'm going to teach him the real version, not the Colombian version. We actually use the pieces to play the game, not smuggle stuff out of the country.

Jay [on teaching Manny chess]

Phil: It's like a movie theater, library and a music store all rolled in to one... awesome pad.
Alex [to Haley]: A library is a place where people get books
Haley [to Alex]: A movie theater is a place where people go on dates.

The iPad comes out on my actual birthday. It's like Steve Jobs and God got together to say, "we love you, Phil."

Phil
Displaying all 12 quotes

Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 Quotes

Phil: It's like a movie theater, library and a music store all rolled in to one... awesome pad.
Alex [to Haley]: A library is a place where people get books
Haley [to Alex]: A movie theater is a place where people go on dates.

The iPad comes out on my actual birthday. It's like Steve Jobs and God got together to say, "we love you, Phil."

Phil