Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Wait so you're telling me this call isn't coming from inside the house?

Phil

Seriously, Gryffindor letting his mom carry his quidditch pole, how Hufflepuff is that?

Phil

We agreed to tell Lily the about her mother together wearing calming earth tones and we agreed to tell her the truth!

Cameron

I have an angry baby inside of me making me do bad things!

Gloria

You've been deported twice; you're not allowed to be that defensive.

Jay [to Gloria]

I'm tired of people not noticing the new physique. If this doesn't work I'm breaking out the diaper and top hat and going as baby New Year.

Cameron

Hey Cam, I heard a rumor that you keep flashing our guests.

Mitchell

Nobody's gonna see my bod in this bulky bull costume

Cam

Hey, the world needs more dreamers Luke. Never stop licking things.

Phil
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