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What would Phil Dunphy do?


He's me and it's spectacular!

Phil [about Kenneth]

Do you know what's illegal in Europe? Nothing! You're going to college!

Claire [to Haley]

All this from someone who never chunked a Punkin!


Saying nothing is not lying. It's just letting the truth speak for itself.


Jay: If you told him the truth he'd thank you later.
Gloria: Like Claire and Mitch, did they thank you?
Jay: Not yet, but it's coming.

Quick, what's my favorite hospital food? Jellooo.


Phil: If I had a son I'd want him to be like Kenneth.
Claire: You do have a son.

Why hug when you can manshake?

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