Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Gloria: And you really didn't know he was gay?
Jay: I must have, right?

I don't think I can get through this without crying. Maybe we should just go on to the cold cuts.

Manny

I'm Columbian, I know a fake crime scene when I see one.

Gloria

She's one of my 447 friends. Everyone wants a slice.

Phil

You're doing that thing when you say what I want you to say, but your tone seems mean.

Phil

He's the suckiest suck of all time.

Mitchell

Lots of stuff that doesn't kill you makes you weaker.

Manny

Haley: Oh my God, gross, I can't even picture you with a woman.
Claire: Thank you.

If my daughter can stand up then so can I.

Mitchell

I am going to do what I am trained to do. I am going to lie, grovel, debase myself until I get what I want. I am a lawyer, damn it.

Mitchell

It's hard to sleep in a bed of lies, isn't it, Jay?

Gloria

To this day, Mitchell looks at me, I see him thinking 'that's the guy who killed Flyza Minnelli.'

Jay
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 18 in total

Modern Family Season 1 Episode 17 Quotes

Women in their 30s on the internet are like ninjas. They get in their little, black outfits and try to sneak their way into your marriage.

Claire

Denise: How many other women have you led on?
Phil: I don't know now!