Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

I live with 4 teenagers, you live with 2 adults.

Claire [to Gloria]

She promised she wouldn't tell Dad until after I left for college, which means that he may never have found out.

Haley [to Alex]

There are blind models? That's so sad, they can't see how pretty they are!

Gloria

Do you think it would be offensive to ask my daughter to walk on my back?

Cam

Luke: My mom hates messes.
Manny: I'm familiar with Claire.

She's like a dream, wrapped in a wish, poured into jeggings.

Manny

Remember that time I told you I couldn't make your figure skating competition because I was stuck at work? By stuck I meant drunk and by work I meant the golf course!

Jay

It happens. Dolls grow up.

Haley

The only stage you're going to be jumping to will have a pole on it!

Alex [to Haley]
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