Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Quotes
I only understand about 20% of what goes on around here.
Jay
We're like Ponce de Leon and his son... little Ponce.
Phil
You never want your kids to see you scared. You want to be that rock that they grab a hold of in a stormy sea. Actually, a rock would sink. So a floating rock.
Phil
I could have guessed he'd have trouble with roller coasters. That kid gets woozy at barbershops when they spin his chair towards the mirror.
Jay
Manny, you were afraid to light the barbecue, but now your eyebrows have grown back and your salmon is legendary!
Gloria
Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.
Mitchell
I have to get old... you don't have to get fat.
Jay
Can we stop calling me little guy? I'm in the fortieth percentile.
Manny
You have a laugh that makes science lab seem like recess.
Manny
I've seen the kid do a pull-up.
Manny
The universe is cold and loveless.
Manny
Mitchell: I had to settle.
Cameron: Well, your mom might think so, but some think I'm a catch.
