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Tony: Still won't keep you hacky types from stealing my numbers from the matrix, anyway. (waves wallet over credit card reader) Look at it, doesn't work!
McGee: That's right. You should still be terrified of my kind.
Ziva: (laughs and gets the card reader to work) And apparently 22-year-old girls.
Tony: I refuse to be afraid of 22-year-old girls, no matter what kind of... magical pick-pocketing devices they're sporting. You know who the real victim is? Artistry.
Ziva: If someone wants something out of your pants, they should have to use their hands.
- Permalink: Still won't keep you hacky types from stealing my numbers from t...
Ziva: We cannot really be sure that, because this girl crossed paths with him here yesterday, we will cross paths with him today.
Tony: Also can't be sure that Gibbs will be swilling coffee when we get back to the office, or you'll fumble a simple American expression, or that McGee will sleep alone tonight - but, people do tend to follow patterns.
- Permalink: We cannot really be sure that, because this girl crossed paths w...
(Ziva meets Liat Tuvia, her replacement at Mossad)
Ziva: Liat is one of the most common names in Israel.
Liat: Where only the grandmothers are named Ziva.
McGee: So what brings you to D.C.?
Malachi: The cherry blossoms.
McGee: That's in the spring, actually.
Tony: I'm afraid all we have to offer in November are elections and pardoned turkeys. I really like those boots, Liat. Not speaking too fast for you, am I?
Liat: I understand. You're very, uh... tongue-in-ear.
Ziva: She means tongue-in-cheek.
Tony: Don't put words in the girl's mouth.
- Permalink: Liat is one of the most common names in Israel. Where only the...
Malachi: Did you expect we would never "move on" after you left us?
Ziva: You left me!
Tony: Let's not get hung up on who's left, who's right and who's wrong.
- Permalink: Did you expect we would never move on after you left us? You l...
Ziva: You won the marksmanship ribbon for your outfit four consecutive times. I have six.
Liat: But I'm not done, benefit of youth. See, I would expect you to look into past conduct. But you seem to only care about my abilities with a gun.
Ziva: You have a pet cat... named Bill. I happen to like cats.
Liat: Still, I feel this, uh, measuring contest would be more at home in a men's room. Don't you think?
- Permalink: You won the marksmanship ribbon for your outfit four consecutive...
Tony: I don't care how many degrees he has, if he's serious about assassinating Eli, he's gonna need something more than a pistol.
Ziva: Tony, it is not about the size of the gun...
Liat: It is about the will of the shooter... We will make sure they do not succeed. If necessary, we will place ourself in the line of fire.
Tony: "All someone needs is the willingness to trade his life for mine." You know, In The Line of Fire.
McGee: Kennedy said that.
Tony: Why don't you just memorize your lines and don't bump into the furniture, McBartlett. Spencer Tracy said that.
- Permalink: I don't care how many degrees he has, if he's serious about assa...
(McCallister unscrews the top of his cane)
McCallister: Damnit! I brought the wrong cane. Other cane's got the flask.
Gibbs: Hey, Riley. Where'd they dig you up? (gestures to the coffee) Keep you sharper.
McCallister: (scoffs) Please. The coffee here is weaker than a Frenchman's handshake.
- Permalink: Damnit! I brought the wrong cane. Other cane's got the flask. ...
Tony: Am I sensing something between the two of you?
Malachi: Nothing serious.
Tony: You haven't slept together then?
Malachi: Oh, of course we are sleeping together. It's just nothing serious.
Tony: Oh, gotta get back to Israel.
- Permalink: Am I sensing something between the two of you? Nothing serious...
Ziva: We killed you first, Tony.
Tony: Oh, I've seen it a million times. The pretty popular girl gets jealous when the hot new transfer comes in and steals all the spotlight. Well, it's pretty much a staple of every high school movie from the seventies and eighties : Heathers, Fast Times ...
Gibbs: Who got jealous in Fast Times? God, I like Phoebe Cates.
- Permalink: We killed you first, Tony. Heathers, Fast Times ... Who got ...
Vance: You really screwed me here.
Eli: You think I wanted the assassins to follow me?
Vance: I think you told them where to find you.
Eli: He is a splinter in my toe, Leon. He has been for years. If I do not extract him now, it could become infected.
Vance: That's nasty, Eli.
Eli: Yet, illustrative.
- Permalink: You really screwed me here. You think I wanted the assassins t...
(Ziva is driving and turns aggressively)
Vance: Most fathers teach their daughters how to drive. I have you to blame for this?
Eli: This she learned from her mother.
- Permalink: Most fathers teach their daughters how to drive. I have you to b...
Eli: I do not have the luxury for my feelings to dictate my actions.
Ziva: You do not have any feelings.
Eli: I have no feelings? There was a time Ziva, when I was quite different. When my house was filled with the sound of children laughing. You, and Ari, and Tali.
(Ziva's eyes now full of tears.)
Eli: There was a time Ziva, yes.
- Permalink: I do not have the luxury for my feelings to dictate my actions. ...