New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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Them's joint bank account eyes.

Jess

Where did all that hair come from? You're a lioness!

Schmidt

First order of business, we eat their food.

Nick

I am rugged, semtic prince!

Schmidt

Just be yourself, and if he’s not into Jessica Day, there’s something wrong with him.

Nick

Kat: Here are the facts: I’m technically a genius, I have a photographic memory, and I lost my virginity to Malcolm Gladwell.

The only think I want in my mouth is Mr. and Mrs. Ibuprofen, minus the Mister.

Winston

When did one on one sex become old fashioned?

Nick

I'm gonna Biden his ass!

Jess

We are all five hooking up tonight, including the gimp!

Schmidt

Winston: That's like the president and the vice president not being best friends.
Nick: They're not best friends.
Winston: Come on, everybody knows they're best friends.

Open your cellar doors, and let us taste your jams.

Schmidt
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 553 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach