New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

The only think I want in my mouth is Mr. and Mrs. Ibuprofen, minus the Mister.

Winston

When did one on one sex become old fashioned?

Nick

I'm gonna Biden his ass!

Jess

We are all five hooking up tonight, including the gimp!

Schmidt

Winston: That's like the president and the vice president not being best friends.
Nick: They're not best friends.
Winston: Come on, everybody knows they're best friends.

Open your cellar doors, and let us taste your jams.

Schmidt

It really bums me out that I will never know the infinite joy of what it feels like to carry a child inside of me.

Coach

I take dumps standing up! I'm a man!

Coach

Six hundred dollars! That's six hundred one-dollar bills. That's the only way I can imagine it.

Nick

I don't want a refund on my cruise and I don't want a refund on you!

Nick

Jess: Where are you guys going?
Biology Teacher: In life, nowhere.

Your asses belong to me now, which means I currently have four asses.

Coach
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 547 in total

New Girl Quotes

It's a sexy place Jess, look at the CPR poster.

Coach

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
× Close Ad