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Coincidentally, I'm wearing my lap dance pants!


Well I can blanch or I can talk but I can't do both!


When Nick leaves, I'm gonna call a plumber and just throw money at him while he works.


The only way to get through it is to get through it.


Jess: Why do we care about a crescent moon?
Winston: I don't know, but I'm gonna live there some day.

You're like aging ballerina, child chess prodigy, old magician crazy.

Jess [to Schmidt]

Can someone please get my towel? It's in my room next to my Irish walking cape!


Julia: I don't like you and I don't want to be your friend, so could you leave please, because I'm about to start crying, and you are the last person I want to cry in front of.
Jess: I want to cry too. Where am I supposed to cry? You can't monopolize the bathroom crying space.

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

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