College Nick: You like rap music? Who's your favorite rapper.
College Schmidt: Brian Austin Green.

Can someone please get my towel? It's in my room next to my Irish walking cape!

Schmidt

There's a fine line between sexual harassment and something awesome.

Schmidt

The only way to get through it is to get through it.

CeCe

Let's let Winston turn on his black switch. And let his black light shine.

Schmidt

Jess: Why do we care about a crescent moon?
Winston: I don't know, but I'm gonna live there some day.

When Nick leaves, I'm gonna call a plumber and just throw money at him while he works.

Schmidt

Coincidentally, I'm wearing my lap dance pants!

Schmidt

Schmidt: I get that. Your business is selling sex. You're a sex worker.
CeCe: You're an idiot.

He smells of strong coffee and going to see a man about a horse.

Nick

Nick: Has Jess not talked to you?
Paul: Oh yea, we've talked.
Nick: It's hard, it's really tricky. It's like, she's doesn't love you right, Paul that's not to say she might not fall in love with you later.
Paul. We talked about how we might have to drive you to the airport cause you're gonna miss your flight.
Nick: Yea, that's probably all you talked about so I'm joking.

Jess: $550 for the TV?! Seems a little steep. I'm gonna write down a figure, and this is as high as I'll go.
Pawnshop dude: You drew a smiley face.

New Girl Quotes

Schmidt: Are you in love with me? Because I'm in love with you, deeply. I assume that you would never because I messed this up so many times. You've made it very clear you only want to be friends with me and I value that friendship so much. So it I'm ruining it by doing any of this, please stop me.
Cece: Schmidt. I'm in love with you.

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick