Jess: What's the secret?
Sadie: It's about love, understanding and two sets of boobs!

Oh my god! Will you not stop till the whole world is arosed?

Schmidt

Just be yourself, and if he’s not into Jessica Day, there’s something wrong with him.

Nick

Sarah: Do you and my Dad ever dry-lump?
Jess: Uhhh..
Sarah: Have you ever done a 99?
Jess: I think that's a tax form?
Sarah: Have you ever given anyone a plow job?
Jess: I don't know....do you want to learn how to play Bridge?

Cece: I really felt that Gavin was different. Didn't you feel like Gavin was different?
Jess: Yea, I mean he seemed like a really nice...European DJ with a face tattoo.

I'm doing sexy things with the pillow.

Jess

"Hubba, hubba, mama in trubba."

Jess

Are you using your friends medical crisis to feel my boobs with your face?

CeCe

I'm like a Hebrew cheetah.

Schmidt

Crazy girls are kind of my 'Hurt Locker.'

Schmidt

You got girl trouble, get a crystal!

Winston

What am I looking at here? Robbie, man to man, you didn't want to wear something a little more form-flattering, maybe like a pile of towels? Or the number 8?

Schmidt [about Rob's green spandex]

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach