New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl

Jess, you know what, I'll let you check my lost and found...got sizes zero through ten.

Schmidt

No! I can't call Spencer I haven't talked to him since he cheated on me with that ho! Actually, that's not fair. She might be a really nice ho.

Jess

Schmidt: I'll take you through the whole thing. I'll be like your guide.
Jess: Like Gandolf through Middle Earth?
Schmidt: Probably not like... Okay, first of all, let's take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave, where no one's gonna find them. Ever.
Jess: Except Smeagle. He lives in a cave.

I have to get to school cause it's astronomy day and I'm dressing up as Galileo, so I have to put on my beard.

Jess

I really just want to get in there and ush this wedding in the face!

Winston

Schmidt: You consider me a sexy man, correct?
Jess: I don't know how to answer that question

Jess: Well, I guess I can't hide my crazy.
Nick: I don't you're trying that hard.

Schmidt: We don't want to be mean, we just don't want you to be yourself...in any way.
Jess: Okay. Suppress the Jess. Got it.

No teeth! You can't use prop teeth!

Nick

He's so soft, like a towel.

Jess

Schmidt: Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?
Jess [in a British accent]: Probably the slut butler, right!

So when I do the chicken dance I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It's more realistic.

Jess
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 547 in total

New Girl Quotes

It's a sexy place Jess, look at the CPR poster.

Coach

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick
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