New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl

Jess: Do you want to know what I'm wearing under this shirt?
Nick: Yeah, sure.
Jess: An invisible shirt.

Destiny might be a lady, but victory has a penis.


If somebody walked in here and saw us, they'd be like, "Look at these two totally normal roommates. I bet they never sucked face." But we did. You sucked my face.


Ten years? You guys are like Bert and Ernie.


I wish I knew what was going on in Nick's head. He's like a...grumpy mystery.


What happened to guys in this bar? Did they open a bus station next door?


Just remember, you caught him pleasuring himself to a mail-order steak catalog.


When did you become a Bond villain who can't afford to not live with roommates?


Jess: This is where Nick Miller grew up.
Nick: Except for the fall of '88 and the spring of '89--that was our "van year."

Jess: I didn't really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.
Nick: That's all there is to know.

Why are you wearing a suit? Did you just apply for a loan or somethng?


Jess: Where are your nipples, man?
Schmidt: I'll never tell!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 35 in total

New Girl Quotes

It's a sexy place Jess, look at the CPR poster.


I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

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