Night Court
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on NBCNight Court Quotes
This was fun. We should have more conversations where I do all the talking.
Dan
Olivia: We know he’s good enough to be one half of the next great power couple.
Neil: Have you two even had a conversation?
Olivia: No. We also haven’t written each other letters by candlelight from the front lines of the Civil War. What’s your point, grandpa?
Nobody had even tasted Colonel Sanders spicy thighs, and they were just throwing money at him. All they knew was that he was a twisted war vet with an insatiable desire to murder chickens.
Dan
Rand: I’ve got you on my Batman standee. I’m not going to lie. It’s really working for me. Makes sense: you both look great in black; you both fight crime at night; and neither of you trust penguins.
Neil: What would you have done with a billion dollars?
Dan: I would find another planet that was able to support human life and I would ship everybody who isn’t me there.
Gurgs: That app sounds dumb.
Dan: Dumb is good. The dumber the idea, the richer it’ll make you. Why throw out my garbage when I can auction it off to lonely people? That’s eBay.
Order. This is a real court. No matter what Yelp says.
Abby
Dan: So you decided to go with blackmail after all?
Abby: Absolutely not. He just thought I did because that’s how he does things. And as you said, he hasn’t changed in thirty years.
Dan: You know why?
Abby: Because he’s not incredible?
Dan: Well, yeah. Also, he doesn’t have anyone in his life to make him better. Like my late wife. Or your father. Or you.
Abby: Why do you want to be a part of this club anyway? You’re better than this place.
Olivia: You think I don’t know that? I hate this place and everything it stands for. The people are jerks. It smells like gravy. And eight different men came up to me and asked me who my husband told me to vote for.
I want to change things and I’m not going to do that by playing the same games you all been playing since the wall deer had bodies.
Abby
Dan: You’re not going to get any traction with him until you figure out what it is he wants from you.
Abby: I don’t know. I think I can sell him on this. People can change. You changed.
Dan: Yeah, but I’m incredible.
That place is wasted on Abby. She doesn’t want to use social interaction to advance her career. She just wants to be friends with people like a psycho.
Olivia
