Favorite Nurse Jackie Quotes
(voice-over) Watch and learn. Percocet should never be crushed, broken or chewed unless you want it to hit your system like a bolt of lightning. Which is only a problem if you're afraid of lightning which I am not.
I'm like a shark, man. If I'm not moving, I'm dying.
Coop
Zoey: What's larger: morbidly obese or super obese?
God: You know, when I hit my head, I've seen something.
Zoey: Like what? Like a bottle was throwing at you?
Jackie: Okay, a quick hypothetical. What would happen to a student nurse if she got busted flushing a patient's body part down the toilet?
Dr. O'Hara: That's so sweet, trying to take my mind off things with your own naughty doings. Was it a penis?
Jackie: No, an ear. Don't ask.
Dr. O'Hara: And you blamed the new girl? Well done. Well, she's a student. She won't get fired. Anyway, if you want me for backup, you can always say I ordered her to flush it.
Jackie: How can you read this crap?
Thor: Please, don't amplify my shame.
Jackie: I don't care what they say. You are not a Grinchy little fucker.
Akalitus: Who's they?
Jackie: That would be me.
I like to hide my humanity. Or at least keep it to a minimum.
Akalitus
Jackie: I think Grace is starting to unravel a little bit. It's scaring the shit out of me.
Dr. O'Hara: If you need anything, and I mean anything, you'd better bloody tell me or I will kill you.
Jackie: Yes.
Dr. O'Hara: And then she'll be motherless. And then I'll have to take her.
Jackie: Oh God.
Akalitus: I know Michelle Obama.
Father: Excuse Me?
Akalitus: You heard me.
Jackie: I did a bad thing and I need your help.
O'Hara: ... well done. And shame on you.
Just keep goin'. Sometimes you don't get to keep everything you started out with.
