I used to think you were a yellow dandelion, but you are all dried up with the puff blown off. But that's all right. You are who you are like I am who I am.

Crazy Eyes

No. This year I'm lovin' someone who deserves me. Me.

Suzanne

Piper: I spent a lot of time wondering if it would matter if I died.
Nicky: In the macro sense, no. You're one Cheerio in the bulk box of life. But, you f*ckin' tickle me, so I think it would matter.

Piper: Why do you always feel so inevitable to me?
Alex: I heart you.

Black Cindy: Yo, what's your sign.
Poussey: Yo. My sign is get your ass up and help me with this shit.

OK. Here's some advice. When a girl makes you come the way that I do, you pretend that you're excited to see her.

Alex

Hey Kate Winslet, see any icebergs?

Boo

God has chosen to test our conviction.

Pennsatucky

Piper: I'm not you wife.
Crazy Eyes: I threw my pie for you.

Why would anyone ever give up being a man? That's like winning the lottery and giving back the ticket.

Figueroa

Lesbians can be very dangerous. It's the testosterone.

Healy

Pornstache: How did you survive infancy?
Pennasatucky: My auntie helped my mama.
Pornstache: That was a rhetorical question. Don't you understand what the hell a rhetorical question is?!

Orange is the New Black Quotes

Piper: I spent a lot of time wondering if it would matter if I died.
Nicky: In the macro sense, no. You're one Cheerio in the bulk box of life. But, you f*ckin' tickle me, so I think it would matter.

I want you to understand. You do not have to have lesbian sex.

Sam Healy