Orange is the New Black
Fridays 8:00 PM on NetflixFavorite Orange is the New Black Quotes
Piper: Do you know what I want? A burger...from Shake Shack.
Alex: I legit just, like, teared up a little bit.
You know, if you're gonna poop in the shower, at least you could plan ahead. Like, do it in a shower cap, and take it with you after. Just common decency.
Lorna [to Angela]
I don't want anyone stickin' anything in my brain I didn't give say-so for.
Digori
Skinhead Helen: We could all stand to learn stuff, I guess.
Alaina: C'mon. They're gonna send some volunteer college derp with a straight part who's gonna get all "Dangerous Minds" when it turns out you can't read.
Digori: That's how they get you. With words. They put ideas in the words that make you start thinking.
Skinhead Helen: I never thought about it that way.
Digori: Yeah. Well, then, all of a sudden you're like, "What if other people are having these experiences that are different than mine, but still totally legit? And what if I'm supposed to think about that before I start judging their lives?"
Pennsatucky: Boo, I am so tired of walking around feeling sh*tty every day.
Big Boo: Fine, but guess what? He gets to feel sh*tty for the rest of his natural life. Oh, and beyond, when he's a tandoori skewer in hell.
Pennsatucky: What if he's just like a regular person who made a mistake? Right? I mean, come on, we both know I'm not innocent.
Big Boo: Yeah, but you never -- Okay, you did...shoot a human being with a hunting rifle. But she had it coming.
Pennsatucky: No, she didn't.
Alex: We could both probably use, like, a week where we don't do something pathetic and/or morally incriminating.
Piper: Where your first thought in the morning isn't, "I have defiled myself in the eyes of God and man."
Stratman: This isn't B.O. You've doused yourself in something evil. Is this some kind of game?
Blanca: Jenga is a game. This is civil disobedience.
Come on. You're like a cockroach, Diaz. When we're all dead, you still gonna be crawling around the garbage, saying mean sh*t to the other roaches.
Gloria
You know, you can cheat on your wife with hookers who indulge your diaper fetish and still be the senator from Louisiana, so long as you apologize.
Judy King
I mean, sure, it's a little Abu Ghraib-y, but...sure.
Dixon
