Favorite Parenthood Quotes
Kristina: Everybody raise your glass. My daughter Haddie Braverman is running for junior class president.
Adam: That's right, following in her father's footsteps.
Julia: Excuse me, your foot steps?
Adam: Yeah.
Julia: I was class president.
Kristina: I wrote speeches.
Crosby: Student council nerds are going to have a nerd off!
I am very proud of you, not just because you won but because of how you conducted yourself. Alright, mostly because you won.
Adam
Joel: What am I going to do; I'm going to show them how to use fabric softener properly?
Zeek: Joel, I mean really. These kids are kindergartners, you could light your own fart and they would think you were Einstein. Come on!
Adam: You want my advice, step one apologize to Renee.
Crosby: For what, I didn't do anything.
Adam: It's just, you know what, you're a man. It's just what men do. We apologize. I say three I'm sorrys before I get out of bed in the morning.
Sarah: Do you need anything? Do you want some lemon aide or um cookies?
Drew: Yeah, if this were 1950 thanks.
Sarah: Well, Perhaps I'll bring you a martini and some pot. I'm just kidding, you should not do drugs or drink. Stay in school; don't cut your own bangs. These are a few of my mottos.
Jabar is going to get into a great school - I promise.
Crosby
Amber: Dude we're not gonna smoke weed during our tutoring session.
Amber's friend: What? It's organic.
(to Sarah) Okay you caught me mom, I'm gonna go buy some drugs and ya know whatever else you don't want me to do cause God forbid I do something right in my life.
Amber
(to his dance partner, Tony) I want you to know that I'm okay with the gays.
Zeek
Gordon: We kicked the ass of the entire footwear industry.
Sarah: Yeah we did!
Gordon: Hold on a moment. I'd like to propose a toast to Sarah Braverman. The best booth job ever.
Sarah: Gosh. Thanks a lot.
Gordon: You give good booth.
(to Jasmine) He's totally getting into that school. They might even name the gymnasium after us.
Crosby
