Wow, sounds like you're going some tough stuff right now. Too bad there's not doctors for your mind.

Andy

Ron: Take this compass. All great adventurers need one.
Leslie: As far as all this firing stuff goes...I will not forget and I will never forgive you.

I am big enough to admit I am often inspired by myself.

Leslie

Councilman Jam: I'm gonna drop my liquids in here and drop my solids down the hall.
Leslie: Ew, no.
Councilman Jam: Okay. Your loss.
Leslie: How?

I love this idea and I love me for thinking of it.

Chris

Not only am I a city counselor, but I'm a city councilor with porpoise.

Leslie

April: Are you busy? And writing Star Trek fan fiction doesn't count.
Ben: Haha. And I finished that last week.

I love games that turn people against each other.

April

Extremely well put.

Judge Perd

Little girl 1: I'm a princess.
Little girl 2: I'm a mermaid.
Ron: I'm the director of Parks and Recreation.

Tom: Mmm. You can really taste the ignorance.
Councilman Milton: It's pronounced 'anchovies'.

Andy: Can we please make you into a princess?
Ron: No.
Andy: I think it would make Diane happy.
Ron: Why does that matter? Shut up.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.

Ron