No blood orphans. I don't know what that is.

Andy

Allergic to chestnuts... and good haircuts.

Leslie

You're beautiful! On the inside... where your spirit lives.

Chris

Ron: No home is complete without a proper toolbox. Here's April and Andy's: A hammer, a half eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, a flashlight filled with jellybeans.

Tanya: I've never seen you buy a salad at Sue's Salads.
Leslie: That's because I don't hate myself Tanya.

Despite the fact that this seems like a party for Tom's face I think it's going pretty well.

Leslie

Tom come over here and talk about how great I am.

Leslie

Honey, he's wearing a costume. He's going as lame.

April

Tom Haverford is a selfish, sleazy, self-promoting, good-hearted, secretly kind and wonderful tiny, little person.

Leslie

Chris: I can't find my car keys.
April: Solve this mystery genius.

Parks and Recreation Season 4 Episode 5 Quotes

Tom Haverford is a selfish, sleazy, self-promoting, good-hearted, secretly kind and wonderful tiny, little person.

Leslie

Chris: I can't find my car keys.
April: Solve this mystery genius.