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Hey, Jerry? April was just double checking the lunch order. Do you want the salmon or the twout?Tom
- Permalink: Hey, Jerry? April was just double checking the lunch order. Do y...
This is the only copy, and I'm going to destroy it. Right after I watch it one more time. I'm sorry but it is so, good.Leslie
- Permalink: This is the only copy, and I'm going to destroy it. Right after ...
That segment was a disaster. Don't you ever [expletive] me like that again. This is Pawnee [expletive] Today! Do you know that I bumped a cat that can stand up on his hinders for you?Joan
- Permalink: That segment was a disaster. Don't you ever me like that again....
I came on today because I have some very important information to share. I finally saw Avatar and I thought it lived up to the hype.Carl
- Permalink: I came on today because I have some very important information t...
I got you one of those veggie muffins you're always eating. Tastes like a rug.Andy
- Permalink: I got you one of those veggie muffins you're always eating. Tast...
Leslie: Why didn't you just tell everybody the truth?
Jerry: Are you kidding me? Imagine what Tom would have said.
Leslie: Damn, Jerry! You jumped in a creek for a burrito? What'd you do for a Klondike bar? Kill your wife?
- Permalink: Why didn't you just tell everybody the truth? Are you kidding ...
Carl: There's been 10 assaults already this year.
Leslie: Wow, really? Can't you station a park ranger out here?
Carl: We have! Who do you think they're assaulting? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell.
- Permalink: There's been 10 assaults already this year. Wow, really? Can't...
Tom: This thing is a mess.
Carl: We used to have three cars actually. The first one got pushed into the creek by some kids. The second one raccoons got onto. There was urine everywhere. And the third one was recently stolen.
Tom: What's this one?
Carl: This is the second one. The raccoon piss one.
- Permalink: This thing is a mess. We used to have three cars actually. The...
Yeah I've always been a bit of an outdoorsman. When I was a kid, my parents used to make me hang out in the backyard a lot and just run around 'til I got tired. But if there's any criminals out there watching, I never get tired. And ladies too.Carl
- Permalink: Yeah I've always been a bit of an outdoorsman. When I was a kid,...
Ann: I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. There was this one, "How Far is Too Far Enough: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story." This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her. And he hid in her house, and then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes. Also, her daughter was having sex way too young. So yeah, free self defense class? I'm there.
- Permalink: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story. This woman had agoraphobia and ...
Andy: Ron, do you think maybe I should put Mark in a headlock? That way I can show everyone how to escape a pervert.
Mark: In the scenario you just laid out, you're the pervert. You understand that right?
Andy: You wish.
- Permalink: Ron, do you think maybe I should put Mark in a headlock? That wa...
Carl: Oh you think you know how to do my job? You might not be so confident once you've walked a mile in my size 7s.
Leslie: Kinda small feet.
Tom: Actually 7 is the worldwide average.
- Permalink: Oh you think you know how to do my job? You might not be so conf...