Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation "Sex Education" Quotes

Ron: I'm giving you a non-electronic book made of paper from a tree. It is called Auto Repair Manual-1982. You will read this book from cover to cover then you will assist me in repairing the damage to my car. I will not report you to the judge but if you slip up again you will have much more to fear than some feeble government employee in a robe.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Wikipedia is mankind's greatest invention. You can learn about anything. We all know Ray J. We all know he's a singer. He's Brandy's brother. And he was in that classic sex tape with Kim Kardashian. But, did you also know he's Snoop Dogg's cousin AND he was in the 1996 Tim Burton movie Mars Attacks? Suddenly, you're on the Mars Attacks page!
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: Okay, I start everyday by hitting up Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram. Sometimes I like to throw in Linkedin. For the profession shorties.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Seniors can be pretty ornery.
Andy: I think it's pronounced "horny."
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Great news! Lots of old people have chlamydia!
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: [via Tweet] Just hit a fire hydrant, but I survived. #Unbreakable #WhatsMrGlassuptothesedays #whynosequel?
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: I don't want to put words in your mouth, but case dismissed.
Lawyer: And you were texting at the time, correct?
Tom: How dare you sir? I was tweeting!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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