Parks and Recreation Quotes
Tom-cat, pull up a mouth. This buffet is unstoppable.
Ron
Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong, salt of the Earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field. Your Steffi Grafs, your Sheryl Swoopeses, but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.
Ron
Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce. But now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
Tom
Leslie: OK, Tom. Go put these in places I do not approve of.
Tom: Leslie, I'm gonna put these in places you've never heard of.
There is a girl here that also works at Quiznos. She's really nice to me here, but really mean to me at Quiznos.
Tom
OK, lap dances are on me. I mean I'm paying for them. They're not gonna actually be on me.
Leslie
I'm a feminist, OK? I would never ever go to a strip club. I've gone on record that if I had to have a stripper's name, it would be Equality. But I'm willing to sacrifice all that I've worked for just to put a smile on your perverted little face.
Leslie [to Tom]
April: I want to go to The Glitter Factory.
Leslie: Well, drop out of school and start doing meth.
Leslie: We are going to The Glitter Factory.
Tom: What?
Donna: Not me. I can't go back there. But if you see Jasmine tell her she can keep Anfernee, but I want my microwave back.
Tom: She's a tall, beautiful surgeon. I'm a short, beautiful government employee slash club promoter.
Leslie: You're a club promoter?
Tom: Aspiring.
Mark: You have nothing else to give me.
Andy: I have a T-shirt I tackled Eddie Vedder in. It's literally priceless.
Looking at her, I feel like she might be the perfect spooning size for me.
Ron [about Wendy]
