Parks and Recreation Quotes
My name is Craig Middlebrooks and this is my debit rewards card!
Craig
Principal: How old are you?
April: He’s 33 and I’m 47/Immortal.
Tom: How bout I break you off some of that Ja Rule?
Student: Who’s Ja Rule?
Ohh, girl, you look creepy.
Andy
Tom: Every song I download has to pass a series of rigorous tests to answer one simple question: is it a banger?
I hope that high school auditorium is big enough because I’m bringing 10,000 Maniacs.
Ben
I did a show called Zoot, Zoot Wyatt in college.
Ben
Leslie: Will you go to the prom with me?
Ben: Why, I thought you’d never ask…because we’re 40.
I’m just an impartial bunny, but I think Ann sucks! And also, I’m the Zodiac Killer!
April
Okay, but we should talk soon because I almost bought a toe ring the other day.
Ann
Andy: You know when you go to the ATM and get money—is there an actual guy that stands there and gives you money?
Ron: No.
Andy: Yeah, those are robots.
A straightforward deal! Why didn’t you tell me? I don’t have my straightforward deal fedora on me! We gotta stop at my storage unit!
Tom
