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OK good, because I have to run a public forum, supervise the maintenance crews and teach crafts at the senior center. Simultaneously.

Ron

The big issue now is, who is this mystery woman? She and Knope are standing very close to each other, and anytime you see two women standing very close to each other you immediately assume... lesbian.

Donny

In a 24-hour news cycle, the tiniest story gets dissected over and over again. In 2004, a kid from Pawnee went to the Olympics, and it was reported on for over a year. He wasn't even competing or anything. He was just going literally to watch the Olympics.

Leslie

Have you seen Ann? You know how hot she is? Men give women of that caliber speed boats, private jets. Not computer bags.

Tom

Dave: If I ever see that guy I'm gonna punch him right in the face.
Leslie: Yeah, that's sweet. Use your nightstick.

April: Do you want me to seduce Perd Hapley?
Leslie: How would that help?
April: I don't know. I just want to see if I could do it.
Leslie: April, I appreciate that, but I don't think it's something worth losing your virginity over.

The mystery woman who met with Councilman Dexhart last night appears to be a government employee named Leslie Norp. According to unconfirmed reports in the Pawnee Sun, the two bent an elbow at this local watering hole, and although they left separately, no one knows whether they woke up... together.

Perd Hapley

Leslie: Our tree lighting ceremony will be simulcast on Internet radio.
Tom: That's a really big deal.
Leslie: It is. Thank you.
Tom: Listening to that tree lighting's gonna be dop

Leslie: Everyone's going to do Santa for two hours, so I would just advise everyone before you get in your costume to go to the bathroom so we can avoid what happened last year.
Jerry: It was just farts.

We can't have raccoons for the Christmas thing. They'll hunt the kids for sport.

Ron

My name is Ron. You don't need to know my last name. Whoever wants to talk, go ahead and we'll be out of here in a tight fifteen.

Ron

For the first time, our tree-lighting ceremony will be simulcast on internet radio.

Leslie
Displaying quotes 289 - 300 of 508 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.

Andy

Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.
April: So like a person?

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