Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 2 Episode 22: "The Master Plan"

Leslie: Chris is the most positive state budget auditing consultant I've ever met. I mean, I made eye contact with him and it was like staring into the sun.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Jerry, we don't know that. Maybe these people are very helpful and pleasant and-aah! Death!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mark: Man, I should have yelled at you way more.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Andy: Tom says it's OK. That probably means it isn't OK.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Ron: Leslie, what do we do when we get this angry?
Leslie: We count backwards from 1,000 by sevens and we think of warm brownies.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Yeah, you're right. I'm not going to fight them-except that I am!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Paul: We are postponing all planning and spending decisions indefinitely.
Leslie: Um, until when?
Paul: Indefinitely.
Leslie: And when will that end?
Paul: Later than now.
Leslie: So this week, probably?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Leslie: The yearly budget and planning proposal for our city is called The Master Plan. Isn't that just so awesome you can't stand it? I shall now reveal to you my master plan! Muahahahah ee ahahahah. Ugh, kind of sounded like a chimp there in the end.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

April: Yes, I am 21 years old today, which is the age that pretty much everyone agrees makes you an adult.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Tom: Call me a romantic, but I believe by the end of the night I will have between one and four new girlfriends.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Do not miss tonight's April Ludgate birthday bash. 9 o'clock p.m. At the world famous Snakehole Lounge. The place the Pawnee Journal has called, "The sexiest, most dangerous club in town."
Leslie: That's not what they wrote.
Tom: Fine. I added the word sexiest. But, we've hired better security.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 21: "Telethon"

Ann: I love her so much, but I think I'm going to draw a mustache on her face.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: I just got to tell you I'm a little tired, so I may have parked on your front lawn.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Hey, Mark. It's Leslie. Change of plans. Can you call me back? Tom, get here. Call me. Bye. Hey, Leslie. It's Leslie. Hang in there. I love you. Bye.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Or get your tissues out if you're like me and think handkerchiefs are gross.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Mark: You ever seen this man sleep? It's like underwater ballet.
 • Rating: 2.5 / 5.0

Ron: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Ron: I suffer from a disorder called Sleep Fighting.
Leslie: Wow, must be terrible.
Ron: Only when I'm losing.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: I need you to make that out to Wendy. Tom is an amazing guy. You never should have left him. You made a huge mistake in your life and you're probably going to die alone. Love, Detlef.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: Brooks Brothers Boys, it's like the cuts are slimmer, and it's cheaper. Win win.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "Parks and Recreation" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!