Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Season 3 Quotes (Page 6)

Season 3 Episode 7: "Harvest Festival"

Leslie: You're all amazing, wonderful people and I really want you to have fun today and not focus on the fact that if one thing goes wrong, we're all gonna lose our jobs.
Ben: That's not inspiring.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: So everybody gather around. Let's grab hands.
Ron: I don't hold hands.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Everything needs to be perfect. Joan is always looking for a scandal. She's like an eagle eyed tiger.
Andy: "Eagle Eyed Tiger." New band name, I call it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ken Hotatay: During the battle, 93 year old Chief Oxcatay was shot 102 times by the calvary.
Tom: Did he die?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: Man.. you are just knocking these off. You're like a ninja crossed with a Jedi or something.
Tom: You're like a nerd mixed with a dork or something.
Chris: Tom, Star Wars is not that nerdy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Lil Sebastian made his debut at the last Harvest Festival in 1987 and he was an instant phenomenon. For the next few years, Sebastian was the #1 boys name in Pawnee and the #3 girls name.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: So I have a surprise. And it is possibly to best thing to potentially ever happen to anyone anywhere in the history of the universe. Ladies and gentleman, the world famous Lil Sebastian.
 • Rating: Unrated

April: I love you.
Andy: Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ken Hotate: There are two things I know about white people: they love Matchbox 20, and they are terrified of curses.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Perd Hapley: The statement that this reporter has is a question.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: We all just behave rationally and believe we're in control of our own destinies. Come on!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 6: "Indianapolis"

Leslie: One time when I was in high school a guy's mom called me and broke up with me for him. There was another time when I was on a date and I tripped and broke my kneecap, and then the guy said he wasn't feeling it, so he left and I waited for an ambulance. One time I was dating this guy for awhile, and then he got down on one knee and he begged me to never call him again. One guy broke up with me while we were in the shower together. Skywriting isn't always positive. Another time a guy invited me to a beautiful picnic with wine and flowers. And then when I tried to sit down, he said, "Don't eat anything. Rebecca's coming." And then he broke up with me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: Women's razors work better. For whatever reason men's razor technology hasn't figured out a way to properly contour the shin bone.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Chris is cheating on Ann. There's evidence everywhere. She's coming up here so they can have it out.
Ron: Ask her to bring some garlic salt. I'm worried Chris doesn't have any.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Ron: When I'm done eating a Mulligan's meal, for weeks afterwards, there are flecks of meat in my mustache. And I refuse to clean it because every now and then a piece of meat will fall into my mouth.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: If you would be willing to just take a brief pit stop, we could see Indiana's second-largest rocking chair.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Then I'm sure he's not cheating on you. But if he is, he's a monster. And if he's not, you guys are great together. But if he is, I will kill him.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: I want to treat April like a queen. And queens deserve flowers and massages, chocolate, booze, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, them treasure chests full of scarves, different kinds of lubes that warm up when you rub them on stuff.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: So, what do you want to do tonight? We could watch TV at Burley's house, or we could watch TV at your house. Or, I mean we could watch TV at Best Buy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ben: I move around a lot, so the friends I make in these cities, they're like Facebook friends, you know? "Hey, Doug from Bloomington is thinking about buying a shirt." Come on, Doug, who cares?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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