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I doth proclaim to be a stupid fart face.

Leslie

It's not for me. These waffles make great dog laxatives.

Lindsay

Did you guys get your public forum gift bag? There's an iPod Touch in here.

Tom

Leslie has a lot of qualities I find horrifying. But the worst one by far is how thoughtful she can be.

Ron

Fixed her "deviated septum" and lost 35 pounds. And lost something else... what was it again? Oh yeah, her soul.

Leslie

Ron refuses to tell anyone when his birthday is. He's even had it redacted on all government documents.

Leslie

Everyone shut up and look at me!

Ron

That's what you see when you close your eyes at night Jerry. Topless Leslie glued to a horse!

Tom

I'm sorry are you eating Turkey Chili off of a frisbee?

Ben

Ben: You always separate your lights from your darks.
April: That's racist.

Public Art Commission. Filled with hippies who love public art and sometimes weed. Jackpot.

Leslie

There's a 30% chance they'll die.

Ben
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 259 in total

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Parks and Recreation Season 3 Quotes

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"

April

Zerts are what I call deserts, tray trays are what I call entrees, sandwiches are sammies, sandoozles or Adam Sandlers, air conditioners are cool blaterz with a "z" ... I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big ol' cookies, I call noodles long ass rice, fried chicken is fry fry chicky chick, chicken parmesan is chicky chicky parm parm, chicken caciatore is chicky catch, I call eggs pre-birds or future birds, root beer is super water, tortillas are bean blankets, and I call forks... food rakes!

Tom
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