Favorite Reaper Quotes
Sock: God, do we have to talk to Russ? Guy gives me the skeeves.
Sam: Yes. Yes, we do. But remember, we are all business. You show any signs of friendship to Russ and it's like feeding a raccoon. We'll never get rid of him.
Sock: Ah, you hear that, Ben?
Ben: Oh, wh...
Sock: No, listen to me. None of this, my name's Ben. I like everybody. Let's be blood brothers, okay? I do not want to hang out with this guy. He's extra-strength douche
Holly: Tell me how to set Kit free, or I will torch this whole place, and there will only be one of us getting out of here alive.
Sock: Which one of us?
Customer: How much for the flat screen?
Sock: A million dollars. Try Best Buy
He was electrocuted in Hell every day that he was down there. That's the kind of thing that makes a person crazy. That's what I do best
Devil
Sock: Can you turn your head all the way around?
Sam: Sock, I'm not possessed.
Sock: Yeah, okay.
Sam: My parents sold my soul to the Devil and I'm a bounty hunter for Hell. Totally different.
Sock: Have you even tried to turn your head all the way around?
Sam: Yeah, it totally doesn't work
Sam: Sock, Sock, don't do something stupid.
Sock: Sam, I am almost certainly going to do something stupid. It's in my blood. You know that
Sam: We are not machines, we are not robots.
Sock: Be cooler if we were robots.
Sam: Yeah.
Sock: You know who I'd be if I were a robot?
Sam: Who?
Sock: The hot chick from Terminator 3. First I would tear this building down brick by brick, then I would go home, lock myself in the bedroom, and stare at my boobs for as long as I wanted.
Sam: Yeah.
Sock: Which would be a long time
Devil: Love? There's no such thing. I'm talking real passion, lust.
Sam: You don't think love is real?
Devil: The French invented love so they could put a civilized face on a primal urge. Dress it up with candy and hearts and cubic zirconium. In the end it all comes down to endorphins and genitalia
Sam: A church? Isn't this a little too close for comfort?
Devil: Nah, me and the Big Guy have an understanding. I stay out of his house, he lets me play with his toys
I'm too disgruntled, all right. I mean, give me a break, no talking at work. I mean, what's next, take away the air I breathe? Take away the beer that I'm about to drink on my break?
Sock
Sock: Coupons? El Diablo not forkin' out the big bucks, huh?
Gladys: Just ring me up so I never have to come back here
You know, Sam, you're a lucky man. You're home during the day, all the wonderful daytime television to watch. When does Ellen come on?
Devil
