There are no happy endings.


Sean: Hey, you gonna try and bang her?
Mike: Nah, bro. I'm not in that mode right now.
Sean: Getting laid mode? I didn't realize there was a "not getting laid" mode.

Tommy: You talked to Derrick Jeter?
Kelly: I don't know. I guess. I asked Derrick Jeter to stop talking to me.
Tommy: You asked Derrick Jeter to stop talking to you?

Sean: She is so hot.
Mike: I know and she wears that tulip bodice like a princess.
Sean: What did you just say?

Tommy: What's wrong with Feinberg?
Needles: I think he might be Jewish.

Nobody talks about the downside about being a Mormon. Every guy wants two chicks at the same time till they turn on you. Next thing you know, you're standing in the kitchen with your dick in one hand and a multiple shopping list in the other.


That's the Tommy Gavin we know. You know, punch somebody in the face. That solves everything.

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