[to Joel] Any time that something get serious with you, you run away. You live your life in fear. You think that you're this, this big, fearless cowboy, but the truth is, the truth is you will never take the risk. Ever.


Alex: We were living together and that still wasn't enough for you to make an actual commitment.
Joel: Hey, hey, hey, you were the one who walked out on me.
Alex: Because you cheated on me. You wanted out and you didn't have the guts so you walked.
Joel: Great, so you dodged a bullet.
Alex: No, I didn't. You broke my heart.

Melanda: I never imagined my last supper would be wrapped in plastic.
Nurse: At this point, I'm just happy I can still chew.

[to Maggie] Hey, can I tell you something? You remember that time I kissed you? I should've have done that.


[to Joel] It's your pattern. You take something really beautiful and you screw it up.


Joel: What? What are you looking at me like that for?
Alex: You've been cheating on her?
Joel: Why would you assume that?
Alex: Because I know you, Joel.

[to his parents] You know, here's the thing. Usually dead people talk to me. I can't even get them to shut up half the time. Talk to me!


I can't die right now. I've got way too many regrets.


Shahir, I'm either a part of your life of I'm not.

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