You come in here and walk around like you're the queen bee. Guess what, Missy. This is my house. You and Mr. Chestless here are over. So move on! Cause if you don't, I'm going to turn your little lame liason into a threesome, starring yours truly. And I don't kiss nice.

Jordan

Was she always wearing that big hat?

Dr. Cox

Giddyup, Dr. Dorkian!

Danni

Turk: Dude, you are such a loser, man.
J.D.: I think I look spiffy. I'm trying to separate myself from the whole pack.
Carla: Oh, you already have, Bambi - you're the biggest geek to ever come through here.
Turk: Yeah, he is.
Carla: Don't laugh, you're the jocky frat-boy with a back problem.
Turk: Yeah, I am.

Turk: What the hell am I doing playing golf!? This is all Tiger Woods' fault.
J.D.: This guy's gonna sue the hospital, we're gonna get fired, we'll have to become male whores... Very successful male whores - we'll probably have a nicer apartment and some bling-bling, but male whores nonetheless!

Betrayal-five!

Todd

Quarantinis, anyone?

Danni

Janitor: Bull's eye!
J.D.: We're not done with our thing yet, are we.
Janitor: No. For you, it's all just beginning.
J.D.'s Narration: The weird thing is, he was right.

Those are beautiful antlers.

J.D.

Turk: Let's celebrate! Whatever you want!
Carla: Ohh! Let's go shopping for a new duvet cover!
Turk: Oh, I'd love to! But my diabetes is acting up.

Molly: Oh, Dr. Kelso's all bluster. Underneath it all, I bet he's a sweetheart.
Dr. Cox: No, no. Underneath it all, he is pure evil.

Listen, this place can make anyone crazy. Once, after a double shift, I swore I went home and crawled into bed with turk. Next thing, I woke up in the on call room, spooning Dr. Beardface. Now the guy's always slipping me hotel keys

Carla

Scrubs Quotes

Was she always wearing that big hat?

Dr. Cox

Giddyup, Dr. Dorkian!

Danni