Popular Scrubs Quotes
Lady: Love your Hairmet.
J.D.: Love yours!
(To Turk) You'd make a pretty girl.J.D.
You know what, after I have sex five times with somebody, I...usually like to have the relationship talk... I know, I know it seems rushed, but, you have to understand, five times usually takes me anywhere between six months and seven yearsElliot
Dr. Cox: Yeah, yeah. Look, Claudia: Just promise me you won't get too involved with your patient. Okay?
J.D.'s Narration: After getting more involved, I found out Mr. Marks's son was an air-traffic controller at a small private airport.
J.D.: And it's our dad, and he's ranting and raving because he's an office supply salesman and he can't find a paper clip in the entire house.
Dan: Meanwhile, he gets to work the next morning, and he realises he's got a million of 'em in the trunk of his car.
All day sucker my ass. Try twenty minutes.Dr. Kelso
J.D.: Hey, Dr. Cox!
Dr. Cox: Still no talking in the bathroom, Newbie... You know what's weird?
J.D.: That you're allowed to talk?
Dr. Cox: You know, Paige is a silly name.
Paige: Perry's worse.
Dr. Cox: So, Nurse Ghandirella, I need you to suction this guy, do a wet-to-dry dressing change, and, oh, what the hell, go ahead and top him off with one of your special, special sponge baths - happy ending optional, his choice, not yours.
Turk: This guy's in a coma.
Dr. Cox: Not all of him.
Janitor: You rang. Lurch.
J.D.: Oh. Um. My stethoscope is stuck up there, and I need you to get it down for me.
Janitor: You put it up there.
J.D.: It's really neither here nor there.
Janitor: Fine. All right, we're even.
J.D.: Thank God.
Janitor: You know you could have just asked me to stop hassling you for, like, a year?
J.D.: Okay, I want that, then.
Janitor: It's too late
Todd: Well, seriously, why wouldn't you want a better job?
Turk: Hold up. My Baby's happy with being just a nurse. Did I say "Just a nurse"? I didn't mean "just a nur-". Nobody at this table said "just-". I meant: "A Nurse." Right, Baby?
Carla: That's right!
Dr. Cox: Oh, just not smart. Even for you.
Sorry, mom. It's just-it's gotten really awkward with this guy that I was seeing and... Yes, mom, 'Yay, I'm straight.' Look, I just, I don't know what to do; I mean, every time I see hm, I get so embarrassed, and... lonely, and... mortified. And I guess I was just hoping that you could... Um, about a hundred and fifteen pounds?... Fen-phen kills people, mom!... Because I'm a doctor, that's how I knowElliot [on the phone]