Lady: Love your Hairmet.
J.D.: Love yours!

(To Dr. Cox) Want me to bury you?

J.D.

Carla: So are you guys gonna go out tonight?
Turk: No, we're gonna stay in.
Carla: Well, I'll be in the bedroom with all the straight people.

Turk: Remember our college brochures?
J.D.: So what, they put you on the cover.
Turk: Twice?

Stop or I'll turn this church around!

Elliot

Ketchup is for winners, Ted!

Dr. Kelso

(To J.D.)Not so fast. You're my bitch now.

Jordan

Carla: I can't believe she's sleeping.
Dr. Cox: I had the intern give her two valiums.
Carla: Why? Was she in alot of pain?
Dr. Cox: No... she just wouldn't shut up

Dr. Kelso: What the hell are you doing?
Turk: I get to have sex!
Dr. Kelso: I hate this place.

I don't know, Turk. It's a little early for me to start pulling strings - I just got this co-chief job. Dammit, now I'm saying it!

J.D.

Turk: Hey White Shadow.
J.D.: That's not my handle.
Turk: Hey Gizmo.

Turk: Mothers and daughters... they speak so fast, but they speak so true.
(Calls J.D.)
Turk: Did you see it?
J.D.: I'm so mad at Lorelai, I can't even talk right now.

Scrubs Quotes

Lady: Love your Hairmet.
J.D.: Love yours!

J.D.: Hey, Sean, you were right about me and my interns. I guess I owe you an apology.
Carla: Damn straight, you do! You know what your problem is, Bambi? You're-
Turk picks her up and carries her off.
Carla: Oh! Turk! Please? Just one more second? I need the rush! Please? I'm coming back for you!