Paul: You know, I've been thinking a lot about us lately.
Elliot: Me too.
Paul: God, you drive me crazy.
Elliot: Oh, you drive me crazy!
Paul: Sometimes I just lay awake at night, thinking about how unbelievably lucky I am to have you in my life.
Elliot: Sometimes you're so controlling it makes me want to strangle you.

J.D.: Look Elliot, I dunno if its possible for me to put how I feel about you into words but I guess I'll give it a shot. I never really believed I'd find someone I loved as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. Elliot, I love you more than Turk
Elliot: Oh my god
J.D.: It's kind of hard for me to say, but it's true

Perry, what has two thumbs and still doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso! I thought we'd met.

Dr. Kelso

Turk: Dude, the only difference between a black girl and a white girl is that when a black girl asks you if her ass looks big?
J.D.: Uh-huh?
Turk: You say, "Hell yeah!"

Lady: Love your Hairmet.
J.D.: Love yours!

Whoa, an American high-five! How perfectly vulgar.

Janitor

Girl: I'm still a virgin.
Turk: You're pregnant.
Girl: Again!?

J.D.: I don't like candy bracelets.
J.D.'s narration: I love them!

Yo, Hooch is seriously crazy.

J.D.

J.D.: We found you in the park throwing rocks at old couples...
Ted: Why should they be happy!?

Dr. Casey: Do you plunder?
J.D.: I have been known to plunder.

Can't we do something else? (A toe floats towards her face) Look, I already said I don't want to play that game, Turk!

Elliot