Scrubs Season 2 Episode 14: "My Brother, My Keeper" Quotes
Dr. Cox: Barbie, lookit, I need you to go down to the lab and get Mrs. Miller's blood-work; I also need you to disimpact Mr. Burnett in 317; and what did you say the sex of the child was?
Elliot: I've got a better idea: You do those things, and when you're done, I'll think about telling you the sex.
Dr. Cox: Huh, that's weird. It seems like you just went to a swap meet and got yourself a big-boy spine.
Dr Cox: Now, listen, you tell or else!
Elliot: Or else what? You'll treat me worse than you usually do? Here's the inside scoop, Perry: For the first time, I have leverage. You're familiar with leverage, right? It's what you're going to need when you disimpact Mr. Burnett - who, by the way, is so locked up, I'm guessing he's been eating either gum, rubber cement, or cork.
Dr. Cox: Look. Barbie.
Elliot: Yeah... that's not my name.
Dr. Cox: Fine... Dr...Reid? Really?
Elliot: What?
Dr. Cox: Nothing.
J.D.: Excuse me, sir, do you have a second?
Dr. Kelso: Sport, what did I tell you about my open-door policy? I don't have one.
J.D.: Dr. Kelso, I was the one who nicked the artery on Mr. Singer.
Dr. Townshend: Oh, cheese on rice, son! I just said it was me!
Dr. Kelso: You need to shape up, son. Lord knows you're never gonna get by on your looks.
Elliot: Look, I really think that you should think about this. So, I wrote it down, and I put it in an envelope, and then I gave it to... her.
Jordan: Hi, Honey.
Dr. Cox: Oh, you are just so gonna pay for this.
Elliot: Yeah... well, uh, so are you.
Jordan: Bend over, baby.
Dr. Townshend: What the hell's this all about?
Dr. Kelso: Nothing! I was, uh, just looking over your files and, um... well... your osteoporotic patients aren't on Bisphosphonate; your diabetics aren't on ACE inhibitors. Doug, a lot of your treatments are pretty out of date.
Dr. Townshend: Come on, Bob, I'm-guys like us, we're set in our ways.
Dr. Kelso: Well, this is not an age thing, Doug. Hell, these days if you've been out of med school five years, half of what you learned is obsolete. Why do you think I spend every other weekend at a seminar in some two-star hotel ballroom that still stinks of last night's prom vomit? I do it because I have to keep up.
Dr. Townshend: Also, it gives you two days away from the missus, right?
Turk: So, you wanna talk about what happened?
Kevin: Nah, man, look, it's-it's just too depressing.
Turk: Kevin, you're in a bad place right now, but you're gonna get through it. You just gotta give it time.
Kevin: Yeah, well what am I supposed to do until then?
Turk: Barkeep, I'm gonna need these two glasses, and that bottle of whisky. 'Scuse me, yes, my brother definitely needs to borrow your hat. And for the love of all that is holy! Will somebody please put on some country!
Jordan: We are a horrible couple.
Dr. Cox: You couldn't be more wrong. Because, even though that isn't my kid in there, I still want to feel connected. And I just thought I'd be more hooked in if I knew.
Jordan: It's funny. Every time I think you're the same old sharp-edged jack-ass, you turn around and do something to remind me that you're such a pansy.
