Scrubs Season 3 Episode 20: "My Fault" Quotes
J.D.'s Narration: In the heat of battle, it's important to hold your ground.
Mr. Corman: Doctor.
Dr. Cox: Well, now, Bobbo, you hooked him, you got him in the boat, but he still got away!
J.D.'s Narration: Because victory can be snatched away at the last second.
Dr. Kelso: Mr. Corman, your full body scan is on the house.
Mr. Corman: I'm listening.
Janitor: For three years I've been watching you pine after Blonde Doctor, and I gotta tell you, everyone is sick of it - "Will they? Won't they? Looks like they're going to! Oooh, the last second, something might- oooh oooh oooh!" Come on! Enough already! I mean, you guys aren't exactly Ross and Rachel.
J.D.: Who?
Janitor: Dr. Ross, and Rachel from Bookkeeping.
J.D.: Mmm.
Janitor: Why don't you just let her be happy with... stunningly handsome, full-lipped guy.
Dr. Miller: Now this is your big shot, so if you don't want me to throw you out of here, you've gotta get through this whole procedure without making a single sex joke.
Todd: No problem.
Dr. Miller: All right, to really get at this, I think we need to go in from behind.
Cut to...
Dr. Miller: AND STAY OUT!
Todd: Totally worth it!
Mr. Corman: Why should I even listen to you? The last time I was here, you tried to torture me to prove a point. Dr.- Dr.- Dr.-
Dr. Cox: Cox.
Mr. Corman: Mengele!
Dr. Cox: Uh!
J.D.: She's quite mad, you know. I hope she doesn't rub off on you.
Todd: Oh!... Too easy.
Dr. Cox: I'm not even sweatin'! Because, honest to God, what kind of gullible chump would go ahead and spend a thousand dollars on some silly scan if he's feeling perfectly fine?
Mr. Corman: Hello, Laverne! Shirle!
Turk: Close your eyes.
Carla: Okay.
Turk: Take a deep breath... See how good that feels? Now take another one... Take another one.
Carla: Are you watching my boobs?
Turk: Deep breath! Nice!
Carla: Everything's wrong again!
Turk: Baby, it's cool. We're meeting with the cake guy tomorrow.
Carla: Nothing's cool! Nothing's cool!
Turk: Okay, okay-
Carla: The centerpieces are supposed to be cupids, but they have no arrows, so now they're just fat babies. I have 187 people who RSVP'd "yes" for a 125-seat wedding. Plus, I have to wear my grandmother's choker, but with my hair up it makes me look like one of those African tribeswomen with a coil around my neck!
J.D.: Oh, just make sure you got all your things out of my bedroom, okay?
Danni: I put all my stuff at Danny's house three days ago.
It actually wasn't that awkward breaking up with Danni. It was... a little odd that she stuck around for two hours to do her morning yoga.
J.D.'s Narration
J.D.: Anyway, I have to break up with her.
J.D.'s Narration: Okay, just let her down easy.
J.D.: Danni, I'm not sure how to do this but, uh... I just don't think we should see each other anymore.
Danni: Cool. I'm already kinda sleeping with this guy named Danny, anyway.
Turk: Whoa! I guess she wasn't calling out her own name after all!
J.D.: You know what! I don't even care, you know why? Because I bet she's calling out my name while she's sleeping with him!
Danni: No, I don't!
J.D.: See, like a bat, dude! Like a bat!
J.D.: Hey, Turk! Where're you guys gonna live after you get married?
Carla: You mean where you gonna live?
Turk: Baby, not now. Don't know yet!
