Scrubs Season 4 Episode 4: "My First Kill" Quotes
Elliot: I understand that because of his drug problem, some of you don't think that Mr. Phillips is a good candidate for surgery, but believe me, he understands that this heart valve is a responsibility. Those of you who have met him, like Ted, can attest to this.
Dr. Kelso: This is a very dicey case. Ted, what do you think?
Ted: She knows my name! Whatever she wants!
Dr. Kelso: Very ethical. Why don't I open the floor to those people who currently do not have erections? Dr. Clock. Do you think this guy'll stay clean?
Molly: Oh, I'm just here as a friend. I-I think you should ask Ted again.
Ted: Oh, good God, she knows it too! Am I awake?
J.D.'s Narration: As I was contemplating how easy it would be to make my first fatal mistake, I had a feeling that Mr. Daniels felt good about this procedure.
Mr. Daniels: You know, I feel good about this procedure.
J.D.'s Narration: See?
Dr. Cox: No, Newbie, I have not killed. But I happen to be, as always, the exception that proves the rule. So, right about now, you gotta be asking yourself, do you think you're that good?
J.D.: Oh my God. I'm gonna kill someone.
J.D.: Do you know that Dr. Cox is trying to convince me that everyone eventually kills a patient? But I haven't! I know you haven't!
Turk: Hell yeah, I have. Remember my first year? Mr. Quinn? I forgot to write the order for his albumin drip and he...hemorrhaged and died. You want your doughnut?
J.D.'s Narration: And it turned out Turk wasn't the only one.
Elliot: Mmm, Mrs. Kahn, my second year.
Doug: Uh, Mrs. Studebaker, forty minutes into my first day.
Dr. Kelso: I've been a doctor for thirty years. What do you think?
Doug: On my third day, there was Mr. Kirshnar.
Todd: Jenny Roth, about eight weeks ago. It was really tough, because she was hot.
Doug: And then later that third day...
Molly: What are you doing?
Elliot: Oh, just waiting for Mr. Phillips. He, uh, showed up the first couple of days, but he's missed his last three rehab appointments.
Molly: I'll wait with you.
Elliot: Thanks. I got my eyebrows waxed.
Molly: They look really good.
Turk: Is he a good candidate for surgery?
Elliot: Definitely. Thirty-five, married, good job, cute little boy, great dog... Can't remember what kind they said - long-time recovering heroin addict - a bulldog! That's what it was! Named Paris - after the city, not the slutty socialite tramp.
Turk: He's a heroin addict?
Elliot: Yeah, but he is, like, super serious about his sobriety. I mean, he's been to rehab like six times.
Turk: Sounds like he needs to dial it up to super-duper serious, huh!
J.D.'s Narration: Mrs. Carter?
Dr. Cox: Ooh, did I trick Newbie? I did, didn't I! And now of course he has to live in fear of when he will kill. When, when, when when when when when when when when?
J.D.: You know what, I don't appreciate lying.
Mrs. Carter: I don't know how my car ended up in the community pool.
Laverne: You musta lost control after you went through the snack bar.
Killing Mrs. Carter, though admittedly bad for her, was just the pick-me-up I needed.
J.D.'s Narration
J.D.: She died?
Dr. Cox: Three days ago of endocarditis. You didn't get blood cultures and you missed it. You happy?
J.D.'s Narration: The weird thing was that I was a little happy.
J.D.: Sticky needle please!
Laverne: Here you go, Doctor. Oh, by the way, when this is over, I'm kicking your ass!
Hey, Peggy? Yes, I noticed the turtleneck choice in August, and can only assume it's got something to do with that grapefruit you store in your trachea.
Dr. Cox
J.D.'s Narration: Besides, I had bigger problems. I had to do Mr. Daniels' procedure. Luckily I'm a professional, and professionals finish the job.
J.D.: This needle is too sticky! I'm out! Get it together, Laverne!
