Scrubs

Scrubs "My Rite of Passage" Quotes

J.D.: His tumor is looking so big, it's starting to look like a three-mor!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Turk: Get off my back. I'm not in the mood.
J.D.: That's what she said.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: I believe in team-building too, Newbie, and I'd make my interns agree with me but they're on a time out because one of them used the phrase "Let's rock and roll".
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: I have been waiting for an hour!
Jordan: I know.. I was leafing through a magazine and watching you on the security cameras. My favorite is when you said "screw her!", then you stormed out, but then you came back, cause you realized that I have the keys!
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: (to his interns) Kick some ass today, guys! Except for Mr. Woodsen in 302.. he's got a rectal tear!
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: How would we embarrass her?
Carla: Oh.. maybe by diagnosing all your female patients with "Turk Fever"!
Turk: Honey, a lot of women suffer from that!
J.D.: That's true! I even had it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: For the love of G-d, the only respite I get from you is when we're making love and I pretend you're someone else!
Jordan: Yeah.. I usually pretend we're doing something else!
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: How do I know this guy?
Dr. Cox Maybe.. you used to date him!
Turk: Oh, that's so clever! I'm gay! Wow! It's good!
Dr. Cox: I'm tired!
 • Rating: Unrated

Patient: See, a few years ago I had some business problems..
Jordan: What was your business?
Patient: Import/Export. Yeah, I would import heroin in my bloodstream, I would export vomit and urine in whatever alley would have me as a guest. (laughs)
Jordan: Oh, sorry.. that's the little smile I get when I'm silently judging someone.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Have you guys been fake-laughing at my jokes? Be honest, I promise: absolutely no ramifications!
Keith: Well, we've been kinda fake-laughing!
J.D.: Keith, I hope you die a violent death and bugs eat your corpse!
 • Rating: Unrated

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