Scrubs

Scrubs "My Super Ego" Quotes

Carla: Why would Turk talk to Elliot about this and not me anyway? They're not even friends, you know what I mean?
Dr. Cox: After twenty-five minutes, the only way I could know what you mean more is if you write "my boyfriend doesn't open up to me" on a big wooden mallet and smash me over the head with it.
Carla: Why can't you for once dig deep down in your heart, access some emotions and empathize with me.
Dr. Cox: ...I'm sorry, what were we doing?
Carla: See, that's why no one likes you. [Carla walks away]
Dr. Cox: Hey, you like me a little bit. [Pointing to Laverne] And so do you sweetcakes. Huh? You wanna a little sugar from daddy? [unscrews candy jar]
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Wait whatever happened to the guy in the restaurant?
Nick: Oh eventually I remembered I was a doctor. Course he'd been dead for 20 minutes, very embarrassing. Food was good though.
J.D.'s Narration: Don't laugh! Don't laugh!
[J.D. laughs]
J.D.'s Narration: Damn!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: You know I kinda had a date last night?
J.D.: Really?
Elliot: Yeah a guy on the bus fell asleep on me and drooled on my shoulder
J.D.: You slut!
 • Rating: Unrated

Todd: Dr. Wen threatened to sew my butt cheeks together.
Turk: And yet you continue to eat chili.
Todd: Dude I'm takin' the cheese off
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Wen: So listen, I scheduled an appendectomy for you later just make sure you're good on potassium.
Turk: Sir I got so much potassium it's coming out of my assium. You know what I mean? See what I did was take the word potassium and... I dropped the first three letters... made a doody joke
Dr. Wen: Funny stuff
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Nobody hurts Carla and gets away with it.
Doug: Who's Carla?
Dr. Cox: I was talking to myself. Don't eavesdrop... [quietly] If this kid doesn't leave I'm gonna kill him.
[Doug stands up]
Dr. Cox: Now if you leave I'll know you were eavesdropping and I'll just go ahead and kill ya anyway. Stay, good girl
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Oh, look Carla back when I was an intern I remember the pressure being so insane that the only way I could get by was to race home and even though my wife was already asleep I'd gently wake her look her in the eyes and then I'd passive-aggressively torture her until she packed a bag and went to her mom's place for a week.
Carla: Oh.
Dr. Cox: Does that help?
Carla: Like a big hug with words
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: It's the scrubs, because in jeans, my butt is a force to be reckoned with!
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: How about Nick?
Elliot: Oh... I'd let him drool on me. Oh, that's gross, why did I say that? I-I shouldn't talk to people. Besides, I wouldn't know what to do even if I was interested.
J.D.: Well, you could start by looking at him.
[Elliot looks at Nick for a split second then looks back]
Elliot: Did he look back, did he like me? Why doesn't he like me? I can't believe I already blew it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: Ahh, if it isn't the brain trust. Someone tell me what this patient's rash is. You have until I finish my squeezy-juice.
J.D.'s Narration: Oh, my God, I'm drawing a... Oh, my God, I can't even remember what you draw when your mind draws a... something!
 • Rating: Unrated

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