Okay class, with the exception of number one here, today's assignment is to drop out of medical school. Your parents' money would be better spent stuffed into garbage bags and shot into the sun.

Dr. Cox

Denise: I'm sorry, white bread, I'm not really looking for a protegé slash suckup.
Lucy: Dr. Mahoney, I am not sucking up! If I were sucking up, I would tell you how much I like your shoes... which I do, by the way! They're mannish, but flirty, like, "Hey boys, come and watch me build a deck."

Perry, you finally found someone to believe in. Don't ruin it by being you.


Turk [about J.D.]: Don't let him put on the glitter.
Cox: I've never heard that sentence uttered by another man.

Turk: Why is the college mascot an owlcat? I don't even know what an owlcat is.
J.D.: I like to think it's what happens when an owl and a cat fall in love.

J.D.: Do you know what the perfect super power would be?
J.D. and Turk: Candy hands!
Cox: For me it would be getting back the time I wasted on people that would one day let me down.

Denise: Is there anyway you can change your entire personality?
Cole: I can try.
Denise: Even the way you said that annoyed me.

Careful walking on the tracks, cause there's a Cole train coming.. choo choo.


You have small but surprisingly powerful hands and almost no beard. It's like you were created in a lab for a woman's pleasure.

Lucy [to Cole]
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