Why do white people ruin everything? I only got to say "'fo shizzle" for a week.

Turk

Elliot: You need my pregnancy boobs for this one. If I could give up five years to keep these bad boys I would. As long as I had a guarantee I'd live into my eighties.
Denise: Yeah, you should bring that up to God when he grants you your magic boobs.
Elliot: Only in my head it wasn't God, it was a genie.

I hope the school has insurance, because my keynote speech is gonna blow the roof off this mother.

Cole

Denise: Hey work buddy.
Turk: Hey.
Denise: You have a sec?
Turk: Sure, what do you want to do? Want to play hide the saltine? Make a giant black doctor? Damn, those never sounded dirty with J.D.
Denise: Yeah, they did.

Lucy: You've never been to Maine and you were college roommates with Michael Bolton.
Cox: Yes and the latter fuels most of my anger.

Kelso: Can I do the interview with that little number in the second row? She said I reminded her of her grandfather and I think I can use that to at least get her top off.
Cox: You're a hell of an educator, Bob.
Kelso: I do it for them.

Cox: Now it is time for a boring announcement about a pointless tradition brought to you by an empty figure head with a failing liver and an over active libido.
Kelso: Thank you, Perry. You and your filled muscle smut.
Cox: I miss this.
Kelso: Yeah me too, it kills me that we're friends now.

Perry: To recap, what is the number one attribute all medical school students share with this skeleton?
Lucy: The hollow area of nothing in the skull?
Perry: Exactly.

Elliot: I would never give birth under a tree, although JD and I did conceive this baby under one. It was a Christmas tree. Not in our house. It was still on the lot. We made a lot of Christians uncomfortable that day.
Lucy: I once got felt up in a pumpkin patch.
Elliot: Don't you just love the holidays?

Displaying all 9 quotes

Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 Quotes

Perry: To recap, what is the number one attribute all medical school students share with this skeleton?
Lucy: The hollow area of nothing in the skull?
Perry: Exactly.

Elliot: I would never give birth under a tree, although JD and I did conceive this baby under one. It was a Christmas tree. Not in our house. It was still on the lot. We made a lot of Christians uncomfortable that day.
Lucy: I once got felt up in a pumpkin patch.
Elliot: Don't you just love the holidays?

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