Scrubs Season 2 Quotes
Carla: You okay, Mrs. Bumbry?
Mrs. Bumbry: I liked Bow Wow when he was Lil' Bow Wow.
Dr. Cox: Oh, she's right - rappers, they grow up so fast.
Dr. Cox: Look, Carla, if you're gonna survive in medicine, you've got to accept the fact that rules are rules. Hey! Anyone from that clinical trial around? Hello? Hello?... Yeah, this lady's supposed to be in this trial.
Orderly: Okay.
Carla: What the hell did you just do?
Dr. Cox: When you speak of this - and I know you will - could I be shirtless? See, I think it would be more impressive if I was shirtless.
J.D.: Look, all I'm saying is, if you are a criminal, even if you aren't afraid of Starsky, if you round a corner and a tiny little Hutch puppet jumps out at your face - "Freeze, sucka!" - you're done for, it's over.
Turk: Does it have a real gun or a puppet gun?
J.D.: Puppet gun. They'd sew it to its hand.
Turk: Okay, I'd watch that.
Laverne: The patient's complaining of anosmia.
J.D.: Anosmia? You know, I always thought it was very funny that losing your sense of smell was called anosmia. "Anos-mia", you know, like "schnoz-mia." Don't you find that very funny?... He doesn't.
Laverne: I'm calling Dr. Cox.
J.D.: Whoa; nobody needs to go call Dr. Cox.
Mr. Blair: This is only temporary, right?
J.D.: 'Course it's temporary. It could also be slightly more un-temporary.
Plus, when she dated J.D., she would just wear a t-shirt in the morning; so when she reached up high to grab a box of cereal, everybody in the room got two scoops of booty-flakes; and the two scoops - they were packed with flavor. You know what I'm sayin'!
Turk
Mr. Blair: I told you I didn't want these antibiotics. Tell you what: When your first grand-kid is born, you pick him up and you smell his head, why don't you give me a call and tell me how great it is?
J.D.: Mr. Blair, I'm really sorry this happened.
J.D.'s Narration: And sometimes, it hits you in places you didn't even know you were vulnerable.
Mr. Blair: Yeah, well you should be. It's your fault.
Dr. Cox: No more silly medical mistakes, huh? Nice going, there, Newbie.
J.D.'s Narration: Damn.
Dr. Amato: I saw you switched off on our exploratory laparotomy this afternoon.
Turk: Yeah, it's 'cause I-I-I had to do a-
Dr. Amato: It's because I'm short.
Turk: You're not short.
Dr. Amato: Look, I know I'm the surgical assignment booby-prize, okay; but if my only other choice is being stuck in that stupid boys' club, I'd rather have them all make fun of me.
Turk: What could they possibly make fun of you-
Dr. Amato: Stop it. All I'm saying is that it's possible to be a good surgeon without playing their game, okay?
Turk: You're really short.
Dr. Amato: I know.
Elliot: No, Dr. Murray, I don't want any fries to go with this shake! I don't even know what that means!
Noelle: Excuse me, Dr. Reid?
Elliot: What? What!? You wanna ask me how many ceiling tiles I've counted this week? Or maybe you just wanna call me a name: Like "tramp" or "ho" or "slesident" - which, apparently, is half "slut" and half "resident".
Noelle: No...
Elliot: Then what is it, Noelle, what do you want?
Noelle: I just wanted to know where the G-Spot is.
Elliot: The what-spot?
Dr. Cox: And for the hundredth time: You're right, you had absolutely nothing to do with me getting involved in this Mrs. Bumbry case. But, for God's sake, Carla, the much bigger problem facing us right now is just exactly how do we get you to stop annoying me?
Carla: Oh, yeah, I'm the problem. Look: Can't you just, for once, stay out of your own way?
Dr. Cox: Can't you just, for once, not be such a busy-body?
Woman: Excuse me, Doctor?
Janitor: Oh, no, I'm not a doctor; I'm a janitor.
Woman: Oh. I just assumed because of the coat.
Janitor: Right. Well, uh, janitors wear white coats around here, too.
Woman: Oh. You guys do a great job keeping this place clean.
Janitor: We thank you.
J.D.: No, I'm a doctor! Look at the books, woman!
Carla: Mrs. Bumbry's fifty-three.
Dr. Kelso: Mrs. who is what?
Carla: The patient Dr. Cox got in to the G.I. clinical trial. She was disqualified because her chart said she was sixty-three, and the cut-off is fifty-five. But, the genius who admitted her calculated her age wrong; she's actually a perfect candidate.
Dr. Kelso: And Dr. Cox knew this?
Carla: He knew the whole time.
Dr. Kelso: Fan-damn-tastic. Sweetheart, you'd better do the old heel-toe out of here, because you know as well as I do I'm going to take this out on somebody.
Carla: Bye-bye!
Ted: May I, uh, join you?
Dr. Kelso: By all means!
J.D.'s Narration: Armed with the knowledge that I was right and he was wrong, I thought I'd enjoy this walk more. Still, I couldn't help but empathize, because I've been there, and I saw the signs: The shameful, averted gaze... The nervous shifting... And, of course, the wild, uncontrollable urination.
Dr. Cox: Gosh, I'm thrilled you approve, but, for the last time: I'm up here. I'm up here. I'm up here!
