Seinfeld

Seinfeld "The Apartment" Quotes

Jerry: (about the marathon) Ah, what's to see? A woman from Norway, a guy from Kenya and 20,000 losers.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I'd like to have a kid 'course you have to have a date first.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kramer: Well, occasionally I like to help the humans.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kramer: I feel like I've had two lives. My pre-mousse, and now I begin my post-mousse.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: (to Kramer) You're not normal. I love you, but you're a pod.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: You have no idea what an idiot is.
George: Is that right? I just threw away a life time of guilt free sex and floor seats for every sporting event at Madison Square Gardens. So please, a little respect, for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots.
Roxanne: (cheering on marathon runners You're all winners!
George: But suddenly, a new contender has emerged.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elaine: She died?Jerry: She died.Elaine: She died!!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Roxanne: The marathon is great, isn't it?Jerry: Yes, particularly if you're not in it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Tell me the truth: have you ever seen a better looking guy?
Jerry: Looks are so subjective.
 • Rating: Unrated

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