Russell Picture
"The Pilot: Part 2"

Jerry and George begin taping Jerry and everyone gives advice to their screen alter egos. The pilot doesn't get picked up, and Jerry thinks it's because Elaine dumped Russell.

"The Pilot: Part 1"

George and Jerry begin casting for the pilot.

"The Handicap Spot"

George parks his dad's car in a handicap spot, causing a handicap woman to injure herself and an angry mob to destroy the car.

"The Smelly Car"

A smelly valet stinks up Jerry's car; George believes he turned Susan into a lesbian.

"The Junior Mint"

Jerry cannot remember the name of his girl, but knows it rhymes with a female body part; Kramer watches a surgery and drops a Junior Mint into the body.

"The Implant"

Jerry and Elaine try to figure out if Jerry's new girlfriend, Sidra (Teri Hatcher) has fake boobs.

"The Old Man"

George, Jerry and Elaine volunteer to spend time with senior citizens and all three have a bad time.

"The Outing"

After a college newspaper mistakenly outs George and Jerry as a couple, they spend the episode living a life where everyone but Elaine thinks they're gay.

"The Shoes"

George and Jerry's television pilot gets canceled after they look at an NBC executive's daughter's cleavage; Elaine tries top stop Jerry's ex-girlfriend to stop talking to everyone about their new shoes.

"The Visa"

Jerry attempts to keep Babu from being deported; Elaine tries to get George's attorney girlfriend to drop a suit against her.

Seinfeld Quotes

I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate. I've got it all!

George

George: Why don't they have salsa on the table?
Jerry: What do you need salsa for?
George: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.
Jerry: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa." "Excuse me, do you have any salsa?" We need more salsa." "Where's the salsa? No salsa?"
George: You know, it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa. "I wanted seltzer, not salsa!"
Jerry: "Don't you know the difference between seltzer and salsa?! You have the seltzer after the salsa!"