Seinfeld Episode Guide

Seinfeld Season 5 Episode 11

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"The Conversion"

After George's girlfriend dumps him on religious grounds, he opts to take on a new faith to try to win her back. Kramer discovers powers of primal attraction.

Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 24

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"The Pilot: Part 2"

Jerry and George begin taping Jerry and everyone gives advice to their screen alter egos. The pilot doesn't get picked up, and Jerry thinks it's because Elaine dumped Russell.

Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 23

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"The Pilot: Part 1"

George and Jerry begin casting for the pilot.

Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 22

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"The Handicap Spot"

George parks his dad's car in a handicap spot, causing a handicap woman to injure herself and an angry mob to destroy the car.

Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 21

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"The Smelly Car"

A smelly valet stinks up Jerry's car; George believes he turned Susan into a lesbian.

Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 20

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"The Junior Mint"

Jerry cannot remember the name of his girl, but knows it rhymes with a female body part; Kramer watches a surgery and drops a Junior Mint into the body.

Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 19

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"The Implant"

Jerry and Elaine try to figure out if Jerry's new girlfriend, Sidra (Teri Hatcher) has fake boobs.

Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 18

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"The Old Man"

George, Jerry and Elaine volunteer to spend time with senior citizens and all three have a bad time.

Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 17

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"The Outing"

After a college newspaper mistakenly outs George and Jerry as a couple, they spend the episode living a life where everyone but Elaine thinks they're gay.

Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 16

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"The Shoes"

George and Jerry's television pilot gets canceled after they look at an NBC executive's daughter's cleavage; Elaine tries top stop Jerry's ex-girlfriend to stop talking to everyone about their new shoes.

Seinfeld Quotes

I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don't get it, okay? I I I admit, I, I'm not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they're so subtle, their little everything they do is subtle. Men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men want, what do we want? We want women, that's it! It's the only thing we know for sure, it really is. We want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don't know 'bout that, we don't know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we've had so far. The car-horn honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. E-eeehh, eehhh, eehhh! This man is out of ideas. How does it? E-e-e-eeeehhhh! "I don't think she likes me." The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don't we? Men, I mean, men are with women. You see men with women. How are men getting women, many people wonder. Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Wherever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, okay, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene. That's why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like "Where to meet men?" We're here, we are everywhere. We're honking our horns to serve you better.

Jerry

Let's face it, a date is a job interview that lasts all night. The difference between a date and job interview is not many interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end.

Jerry

Seinfeld

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