Seinfeld Season 3 Episode 16: "The Fix-Up" Quotes
(breaking up Jerry and Elaine's fight) Can't you two see that you're in LOVE with each other?
Kramer
(breaking up a fight between Jerry and George) The next one of you that opens up your mouth and says something, you're gonna have to deal with me!
Kramer
Cynthia thought we should nuke the rainforest, get rid of it in one sweep, just so we can eliminate it as a topic of conversation.
Elaine
She missed her period? Oh, my God. I can't believe it! I'm a father! I did it! MY BOYS CAN SWIM!!!
George
Cynthia: He was uncomfortable because it was our first time so he felt he would perform better if we did it in the kitchen. He said the kitchen is always the
most sociable room in the house. And he was serious.
Elaine: So, how was it?
Cynthia: How good could it be? My head was on a hot plate.
Cynthia: I mean the problem is that the good ones know they're good. And they know they're in such demand they're just not interested in confining themselves to one person.
Elaine: I hate the good ones.
Cynthia: Is Jerry one of the good ones?
Elaine: That's a good question. I think he thinks he is.
Cynthia: What does he look like?Elaine: Um, well, he's got a lot of character in his face. Um, he's short. Um, he's stocky.Cynthia: Fat. Is that what you're saying, that he's fat?Elaine: Powerful. He is so powerful, he can lift a hundred pounds right up over his head. And um, what else. What else. Oh, right. Um, well, he's kind of, just kind of losing his hair.Cynthia: He's bald?Elaine: No! No, no, no, he's not bald. He's balding.Cynthia: So he will be bald.Elaine: Yup.
Well let me tell you something about George. He is fast. He can run like the wind. And he's strong. I've seen him lift a hundred pounds over his head without even knowing it. And you wouldn't know it to look at him, but George can bait a hook.
Jerry
Elaine: You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.
Jerry: I went out with you.
Elaine: That's because my standards are too low.
Elaine: Well, at least you're not bitter.Cynthia: Who says I'm not bitter?Elaine: Aren't you too young to be bitter?
George: I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care. And when you don't care, that indifference makes you attractive.Jerry: So, hopelessness is the key?George: It's my only hope.
It's hard enough to meet a woman you dislike, much less like.
George
