Seinfeld Season 2 Episode 6: "The Statue" Quotes
(to Jerry about Ray) Remember, don't take any crap.
George
Jerry: (to Rava) So, where's this boyfriend of yours? I can't wait much longer. I've got a flight.
Elaine: Oh, probably caught in traffic.
Rava: Or maybe he's dead.
Jerry: So what do you write, children's books?
George: Students can't clean. It's anathema. (explaining) They don't like it.
Jerry: How long have you been waiting to squeeze that into a conversation?
When I was ten years old, my parents had this very same statue on the mantle of our apartment. Exactly, and, one day, I grabbed it, and I was using it as a microphone. I was singing, "MacArthur Park", and I got to the part about, "I'll never have that recipe again," and it slipped out of my hand and it broke. My parents looked at me like I smashed the Ten Commandments. To this day, they bring it up. It was the single most damaging experience in my life, aside from seeing my father naked.
George
Greetings, greetings and salutations! I beg your forgiveness, my tardiness was unavoidable. And you must be Jerry, Lord of the manor. My Liege, a pleasure to serve you. Your palace shall sparkle like the stars in the heaven upon your safe arrival, Sire.
Ray
Man on Elevator: Will you put that cigarette out?!Rava: Maybe I put it out on your face!
Kramer: (shouting) And today's your lucky day, junior. Because I'm gonna let you off with just a warning! Any more of this criminal activity and you'll be sorry! You got me?
Ray: Got you? I don't know what the hell you're talking about!
Kramer: (slightly nervous) Good, good. Let's, uh, keep it that way.
Jerry: Well, perhaps we can take comfort in the knowledge that in the next world, Ray will be the recipient of a much larger and more harsh brand of justice.
George: Yeah, he'll have my parents.
George: There's just no justice. This experience has changed me! It's made me more cynical, more bitter, more jaded!
Jerry: Really?
George: Sure, why not
Jerry: My mother. (chuckling) She forgot how to make French toast. You know how mothers are.
Rava: My mother left us when I was six years old--all seven of us. We never heard from her again. I hope she's rotting in an alley somewhere.
Jerry: My mom's down in Florida.
Jerry: Hey, you know, you owe me one.
George: What?
Jerry: The Ink-A-Dink. You were "It"!
George: "It"'s bad?
Jerry: "It's" very bad!
Ray: Hey, hey, are you a cop?
Kramer: Yeah, I'm a cop, I'm a good cop, I'M A DAMN GOOD COP!
