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Jerry: Now listen, let's keep an eye on each other tonight. In case one of us gets in a bad conversation, we should have a signal that you're in trouble so the other one can get us out of it.
Elaine: How old are you?
- Permalink: Now listen, let's keep an eye on each other tonight. In case one...
Every time I go to the bathroom I pass her desk. I have to plan little patter. I spend half my day writing. Then afterwards, I sit in my office and analyze how it went. If it was a good conversation, I don't go to the bathroom for the rest of the day.George
- Permalink: Every time I go to the bathroom I pass her desk. I have to plan ...
Party Guest: So what do you do?
Jerry: I'm a comedian.
Party Guest: Are you? Let me ask you something. Where do you get your material?
Jerry: I hear a voice.
Party Guest: What kind of voice?
Jerry: A man's voice, but he speaks in German so I have to get a translator.
Party Guest: How come you keep tapping your head?
Jerry: It's a nervous tic. I'm on L-Dopa.
- Permalink: So what do you do? I'm a comedian. Are you? Let me ask you ...
What could possess anyone to throw a party? I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room.Jerry
- Permalink: What could possess anyone to throw a party? I mean, to have a b...
You got aloe? I love aloe.George
- Permalink: You got aloe? I love aloe.
George: Every day is a date.Jerry: That's one of Dante's nine stages of hell, isn't it?
- Permalink: That's one of Dante's nine stages of hell, isn't it?
You haven't won. You may think you've won, but you haven't won. Do you know why? It's not over. This is not over. I'm not forgetting what's happening here. You have my ten dollars. I will get it back. Alright, don't worry. It's not over. I'm going now. Good bye. I will be back.George
- Permalink: You haven't won. You may think you've won, but you haven't won. ...
Woman: I have lost my fianc! The poor baby!Elaine: (Australian accent) Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
- Permalink: Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
George: I can't believe what's happening here. She hasn't taken her hands off me all night. She was always friendly around the office, but that was it!
Jerry: How do you account for this?
George: Maybe a safe fell on her head.
- Permalink: I can't believe what's happening here. She hasn't taken her hand...
The last time a woman said that [make love to me] to me I wound up apologizing to her.George
- Permalink: The last time a woman said that to me I wound up apologizing to...
Jerry: Listen, George is going home with this Ava from his office.Elaine: Really? Huh. What a world. So we can go now?Jerry: Uh, no, he's taking the car.Elaine: Well, what are we gonna do for a ride?Jerry: I don't know.Elaine: You don't know?Jerry: Maybe Kramer can come pick us up.Elaine: Oh great, oh, this is great. How could you let him take the car?Jerry: There's nothing I could do, it's part of the code!
- Permalink: There's nothing I could do, it's part of the code!
I long for you.George
- Permalink: I long for you.