Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 5: "The Wallet" Quotes
(reading the form) 'Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease?'
Morty
Jerry: Let me explain to you what you just did. There are literally hundreds of people trying to get pilot deals with them this year. They go with maybe five. Okay, if we pass, that's it. They go to the next show.
George: Ooooo, I'm scaredOhooo, they're not gonna do the show.
Jerry: We're lucky they're even interested in the show in the first place. We got a show about nothing. With no story. What do you think, they're up there going, "Hey, maybe we should give those two guys, who have no experience and no ideas, more money"?
George: Ohooo, what are we gonna do? I'm shaking. I'm shaking.
Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.
MY WALLET'S GONE! MY WALLET'S GONE!
Morty
Uncle Leo: I just talked to Dr. Dembrow's son. He said they almost had to call the police.
Morty: What are you talking about? I'm the one who should've called the police. They stole my wallet.
Uncle Leo: You know how hard it was for me to get that appointment for you? You can't just walk in on this guy. He did me a personal favor.
Morty: All right, Leo.
Uncle Leo: And you walked out without paying.
Morty: How was I supposed to pay? I didn't have my wallet.
Uncle Leo: Well, I hope you send him a check.
Morty: What for?
Uncle Leo: What for? This man was nice enough to see you. He did me a personal favor.
Morty: That's the second time you said "personal favor." Why do you keep saying that?
Uncle Leo: I said it once.
Morty: Twice! And Dembrow doesn't even know you. His son happens to live on your floor.
Helen: Why did you tell this crazy guy that Kramer didn't invite him to his party?
Jerry: I didn't know he wasn't invited.
Morty: Hey, these are very comfortable pants. You know what I paid for these Jerry?
Helen: So why did you say anything?
Jerry: It was a mistake.
Morty: They're good around the house and they're good for outside!
(monologue) Don't you hate "to be continued" on TV? It's horrible when you sense the "to be continued" coming. You know, you're watching the show You're into the story. There's like five minutes left and suddenly you realize, "Hey, they can't make it! Timmy's still stuck in the cave! There's no way they're gonna wrap this up in five minutes!" I mean, the whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life. A comedian can't do that, see. I can't go, "A man walks into a bar with a pig under his arm -- Can you come back next week?"
Jerry
Elaine, do you remember your dream where you had a sexual encounter with a Chinese woman?
Dr Reston
Jerry: What are you repeating everything I say?
George: What are you repeating everything I say?
Jerry: Well George is an idiot.
George: Well G...
How could anyone not like you?
Helen
