That 70's Show Quotes
Ricky: Tell me, what do you consider your best quality?
Eric: Well, I'm a real people person.
Hyde: I don't answer stupid questions.
Fez: I speak Dutch.
Kelso: My eyes. Oh, and I guess my butt too.
Ricky: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Eric: Fatso Burger.
Fez: Covered in gold chains!
Kelso: Rock star. No, a movie star No, wait. Yeah. Rock star.
Hyde: Prison.
Ricky: Hey, how's that mopping coming along?
Eric: Well, I'm just happy to be a part of the Fatso Burger family. (Ricky walks away) You dumb ass.
(after Jackie calls Eric stupid)
Hyde: Well, this is a first. I actually agree with Jackie.
Eric: What? You're saying that I'm stupid?
Hyde: Donna just put on the full court press, man, and you dropped the ball.
Eric: What are you talking about? All she said was she'd be alone on Saturday night with a pizza... Oh God, I'm so stupid.
Kelso: Geez, if [Red]'s like this now, he's going to be a total headcase when they shut down the plant. He's just going to be this pathetic guy...
(Red walks in)
Kelso (loudly): ...with breasts the size of watermelons! (pauses) ...is what Moses said to the Egyptians.
(talking about how "whipped" Kelso is, imitating Jackie's voice)
Hyde: Michael, call me at 8:00.
Eric: Michael, do your Chico impression.
Fez: Michael, rub oil on my thighs while I spank you.
(Kelso, Hyde, and Eric all look at Fez, surprised)
Fez: Please, someone else talk now.
Fez: She [Jackie] will crush him [Kelso], yes?
Hyde: Like the spirit of your Mayan forefathers.
Fez (laughing): My forefathers were not Mayan.
Hyde: Like anyone cares.
Why are you guys all sitting on one side of the table, huh?
Jackie
All families are embarrassing; and if they're not embarrassing, they're dead.
Kitty
Hyde: I'm going to write an awesome slogan like "I hate the fuzz" on my ass!
Fez: If you hate the fuzz on your ass, why don't you just shave it off?
Don't get me wrong, I'm completely pro nudity, but I think my dad might kill me and I'm anti being killed.
Eric
All this food for 45 cents? It is unbelievable! (He takes a bite of his food, then pushes away his tray) Oh...I see.
</i> Fez
