Chrissy: See the establishment doesn't want us having sex because they know it makes us feel good, right? So if we can feel good on our own, what do we need the establishment for? So every time we have sex, it's a huge protest.
Hyde: You know what? I think I feel a huge protest coming on.

Hyde: Okay. All right. Do you remember that time when I was climbing your fence, and I hit my forehead on that tree branch, and I fell into your yard, and your dog Yogi came out of the house and bit me twice on the ass?
Kelso (laughing): Yeah, you bled and you cried.
Hyde: I bled. I didn't cry.
Kelso: Yeah, you did. You bled and you cried.
Hyde: And you laughed, man. A lot. While I was bleeding... You see my point?
Kelso: Yeah, it's funny when friends get hurt.
Hyde: Close enough.

(after painting a pot leaf on the water tower)
Hyde: I don't know. It kinda looks like it's giving the finger.
Kelso: No way, man. That is definitely a pot leaf!
(Kelso falls off the water tower)
Hyde: Hey Kelso, what's it look like down there?
Kelso (in pain): It looks like it's giving me the finger!

(after Eric tells Donna he saw his parents having sex)
Donna: I could remember like little bits of naked skin peeking through the holes of the hammock.
Eric: Wow. It's weird but knowing what you went through just makes me feel so much better 'cause you're like totally over it, aren't you?
Donna: And later they came inside and they had like this checkerboard pattern all over their arms and legs! And my dad laughed and said they fell asleep on the hammock. But I knew it was a lie. I knew what he did to my mom!

(Eric has just walked in on his parents having sex)
Eric: Okay, uh, we need to get to the hospital now.
Kelso: But what about your mom?
Eric (shouting): Don't you dare talk about my mother!

(sitting atop the water tower)
Jackie: Oh my god. From up here, Point Place looks just like Paris.
Donna: You think that looks like Paris? No wonder you think Kelso could be a model.
Kelso: Whoa! I could so be a model.

I was driving home from the plant and I saw the water tower. It looked like it was giving me the finger.

Red

Red: Are you on dope? Are you?
Kitty: Because, because, we can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization--
Red: My foot kicking your ass.

Fez: I'm so excited about Star Whores.
Hyde: Fez man, it's Star Wars.
Fez: Screw that.
Hyde: Hey Forman, man, this thing better be good. If I don't see some space jugs, I'm going to be super pissed.
Eric: Oh, hey, guys, I heard it was okay.
Kelso: Well, there is no way it's better than the Planet of the Apes. I mean, those apes were really good actors.

Donna: Just because a guy pays attention to me, does not mean he wants to get me naked!
Eric: Oh, grow up!
Donna: Is that why you paid attention to me?
Eric: Of course!...not! Of course not! I love your mind. That's the thing I love.

Kelso: Laurie, what's going on? You're acting like you're liking me, and that's weird.
Laurie: It's like I told you Kelso, I'm bored.
Kelso: Well that's very flattering, but uh, you know, Jackie and I are back together.
Laurie: Oh. I understand. Do you wanna see my appendix scar?
Kelso: Once again, (looks at it) what's-her-name and I are back together!

Donna: Remember when you beat him up on the playground?
Eric: I kicked his ass.
Jackie: Wait. Wasn't he the kid with scoliosis and asthma?
Eric: Yep. And I kicked his ass.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 154 in total

That 70's Show Quotes

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Kitty: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
Red: Out of town.
Kitty: How do you know?
Red: I told them not to.

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