So did you defile my mother, or not?


Excuse me, that is my mother you're talking about! However accurately...


I'm telling ya, I'm not on drugs. The government is out to get me!


Alfred: I have prayed to God many times... to turn my wife into a pillar of salt.
Mary: Well he came close. He turned her into a block of ice.

You can't ignore it. It's not that postcard that says it's time to go back to the dentist.


Mother, she's an atheist, not a vampire.


Penny: And when I dropped her off at the hotel, she even gave me a hug.
Leonard: Did she think you were choking, or...?

I'm still human, Penny. Not getting invited to my own son's wedding is difficult to ignore.


Sticks and stones may break my bones, but sticks on chairs are comfy.


You know the golden rule of line etiquette. No cuts, no butts, no coconuts.


Atom of Hydrogen, Adam of Maroon 5. Mic drop.


That offer is only good until the third trimester. I can't risk getting amniotic fluid on my spot.


TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.