The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS

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Season: 6 5 4 3 2 1

The Big Bang Theory Quotes (Page 3)

Season 6 Episode 21: "The Closure Alternative"

Amy: I'm sorry you're upset. You know, Sheldon, sometimes people seek the comfort of physical contact in moments like this.
Sheldon: I am not flying back to Texas just so my mom can give me a hug.
 • Rating: Unrated
Howard: People change names on blogs to protect their privacy. Roger is Raj.
Raj: Oh, I always thought, if I had a white name, it would be Gavin.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Raj: Mummy was right. American girls are sexually voracious devils.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Raj: I can see my little princess while I'm at work, right?
Howard: Why can't you just watch porn like a normal guy?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Leonard: If they didn't want to be yelled at by crazy nerds, they shouldn't have started a sci-fi channel.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Sheldon: They can't just cancel a show like Alphas. You know? They have to help the viewers let go. Firefly did a movie to wrap things up. Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book. Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season till we were grateful it ended.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sheldon: Why would the Chinese make our DVR record Paul Blart: Mall Cop?
Leonard: I don't know. It's a fat guy on a Segway. That's funny everywhere.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 6 Episode 20: "The Tenure Turbulence"

Leonard: Oh, you do what you want, but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure. Friends are forever.
Howard [coughing]: So, is tenure.
 • Rating: Unrated
Sheldon: Are you implying my girlfriend doesn't have any sexuality to exploit?
Raj: Yes
Sheldon: Okay, because that was not clear.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Leonard [to Penny]: Way to hit'em with both barrels.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Amy: Seriously, is that tape? Like, how are they staying up like that?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Amy: You're all wasting your time. Sheldon is the most qualified for the job, and no amount of gravity-defying bosom's going to change that.
 • Rating: Unrated
Sheldon [to Amy]: Well, that's a fine how-do-you-do. Don't just stand there. Take your breasts out.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Leonard: You realize you might kill some of them.
Penny: Oh, then you all can get tenure.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Mrs. Davis: Roots?
Sheldon: The tragic history of slavery in America. Fun for the whole family.
Mrs. Davis: Why would you think this is an appropriate gift?
Sheldon: Umm. Well ... You are black, right?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper doesn't do cozy.
 • Rating: Unrated
Sheldon: You know, I must say I go back and forth on this boyfriend-girlfriend thing, but those moments when you worship me really keep you in the running.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kripke: If you need my nose, you'll find it firmly lodged up the rectum of the tenure committee.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sheldon: If we really want science to advance, people should have chips implanted in their skulls that explode when they say something stupid.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Season 6 Episode 19: "The Closet Reconfiguration"

Sheldon: Is there any reason you're keeping this dead goldfish?
Penny: Damn, I forgot to feed him and that I had him.
Sheldon: Well, now, did you also have a dog? Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy.
Penny: Party's over. Party's over.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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Season: 6 5 4 3 2 1
Total Season 6 Quotes: 282
Total The Big Bang Theory Quotes: 1228
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