Bernadette: A two-hundred dollar R2D2 is a business expense?
Howard: Oh, Bernie. You're gonna have to sound a lot more confident when we get audited.

Leonard: It comes with paints and it's kind of creative and artistic.
Penny: Okay, did you go to the dirty store, or Michaels?

Penny: See, this is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: That was tricky because when it comes to alcohol she generally means business.

Amy: After a careful evaluation of our relationship. We decided that the time was right to take a step forward.
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: Do you want to say it?
Amy: Let's say it together!
Sheldon and Amy: We're getting a turtle!

Excuse me. You better find my husband's mother, because one way or another, we're walking out of here with a dead woman!

Bernadette

Sheldon: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Penny: Well, not to steal from the Bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good.

Leonard: I'm telling you, you can't create love in a few hours. Right?
Penny: Careful. You're poking at the whole foundation of The Bachelor.

Amy: I just read about an experiment designed to see if you can make two people fall in love in a matter of hours.
Leonard: That doesn't sound right. My research has shown that it takes three to five years of shameless begging.

Let's have a toast. To Mrs. Wolowitz. A loving mother ... to all of us. We'll miss you.

Leonard

Sheldon: I didn't care for her yelling, but now that I'm not going to hear it again, I'm sad.
Leonard: If you want, I can yell at you later.
Sheldon: It won't be as good.

Sheldon: When I lost my father, I didn't have any friends to help me through it. You do.
Penny: I really thought he was going to say, "Let it go."

No. My mom died.

Howard

TBBT Quotes

Mrs. Cooper: Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
Sheldon: I saw you having naked sex.

Penny: I give up, he's impossible
Sheldon: I can't be impossible, I exist. I believe what you meant to say is, "I give up, he's improbable."