The Big Bang Theory Quotes
Dan: Bernadette. Cute, sweet...vicious little Bernadette.
Penny: Come on. She's not that bad.
Dan: Oh, yeah? At the company picnic she yelled at me and my grandson for losing the three-legged race. I mean, he still calls her "that mean kid with the big boobies."
Raj: This old pen kind of proves gravity. When I tilt it, her bathing suit falls right off.
Howard: Oh, my dad used to have a pen like that. I dated it all through sixth grade.
You know, I thought cleaning out a dead professor's office was gonna just be boring, but then I found his dentures and realized it's also gross.Raj
Sheldon: Now, I'm sure you're thinking, "The final episode? Who will stand between us and flag ignorance""
Amy: I know I was thinking that. Is this a show on flags or mind reading?
Sheldon: But the truth is I can no longer balance a full-time career, a popular Internet show, and a girlfriend.
Amy: And he really does have one, you jerks on the comment board. So as they say, all good things must come to an end.
I can't send it back. I had it engraved. "Here lie the ashes of Leonard Hofstadter. He thought he was right, but his roommate knew better."Sheldon
Leonard: Okay, first of all, the surgery was a success, and secondly, I didn't even want you there.
Sheldon: Wow. I don't know which hurts worse-- my nose or my heart.
- Permalink: Wow. I don't know which hurts worse-- my nose or my heart.
Penny: Okay, the reason he deceived you is you were being
a pain in the ass.
Sheldon: The reason I was being a pain in the B is because I was worried about him, and no one else was.
Penny: Really? You won't even say "A"?
Sheldon: You bet your sweet B I won't.
- Permalink: You bet your sweet B I won't.
Sheldon: I assume this medical center's already treated the burns on your bottom from the recent pants fire.
Penny: 'Cause I'm a liar, liar?
Sheldon: That's for the fire marshal to determine.
- Permalink: That's for the fire marshal to determine.
Leonard: If there was an asteroid strike,wouldn't you die, too?
Sheldon: I don't know-- I'm smart and scrappy, I think I'd find a way.
- Permalink: I don't know-- I'm smart and scrappy, I think I'd find a way.
Leonard: Buddy, I-I get that you're worried about me and I-I appreciate that, but I'm not going to die.
Sheldon: You don't know that.
Leonard: Well... I do know that it won't be from an asteroid strike.
Sheldon: You know who else said that? Every cocky T. Rex currently swimming around in the gas tank of your car.
Sheldon: If the surgery is successful, the snoring is gone. And if you die during surgery...the snoring is gone.
Leonard: It sounds like either way, I finally get some rest.
- Permalink: It sounds like either way, I finally get some rest.
Sheldon: I'm listening to you snore. I'm wondering how I'll ever sleep without it.
Leonard: If it helps you sleep, then why are you sitting here
staring at me like the albino boogeyman?
Sheldon: Really, Leonard-- insults? After I spent two hours in your closet waiting for you to fall asleep?