The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite The Big Bang Theory Quotes
[Sheldon karate chops Leonard in the shoulder]
Leonard: Ow! Why did you do that?
Sheldon: To send a message: she's not for you!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Not for you!
Raj: Come on, Sheldon, Star Wars.
Howard: I'm pushing play. I mean it. If we don't start soon, George Lucas is going to change it again.
Wolowitz [about his phone call]: Looks like I'm going to have sex tonight
Penny: His right hand is calling him?
They can't just cancel a show like Alphas. You know? They have to help the viewers let go. Firefly did a movie to wrap things up. Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book. Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season till we were grateful it ended.
Sheldon
I have to say I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition. Apparently there is no law of diminished comedic returns when it comes to space poop
Sheldon
Raj: Woh, woh, woh! I don't want to speak to the FBI.
Leonard: Why not?
Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.
Leonard: Why do I have to talk to Penny? She's not my girlfriend.
Sheldon: You invited her to lunch four years ago, everything about her is on you: you make it so!
But e-excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what its like to the be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!
Raj
But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning, and you'll have a new girlfriend when you figure out how to build one.
Wolowitz
Sheldon: I can't seem to get in touch with Amy. I tried e-mail, video chat, tweeting her, posting on her Facebook wall,texting her, nothing.
Leonard: Did you try calling her on the telephone?
Sheldon: The telephone. You know, Leonard, in your own simple way, you may be the wisest of us all.
It is to viagra as viagra is to a green M&M.
Sheldon
Raj: The only thing I've learned in the last two hours is that American men love drinking beer, pee too often, and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials, Raj.
Raj: I'm just saying, maybe if you people cut back on the beer, you could get out of the bathroom and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical help.
