The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSPopular The Big Bang Theory Quotes
The tinier the train the more concentrated the fun.
Sheldon
Sheldon: Are you upset about something?
Leonard: What was your first clue?
Sheldon: Well, it was a number of things: first, the late hour; then your demeanor seems very low energy; plus your irritability...
Leonard: Yes, I'm upset!
Sheldon: Huh, I don't usually pick up on those things. Good for me.
Leonard: Yeah, good for you.
Sheldon: Oh, wait, did you want to talk about it?
Leonard: I don't know, maybe.
Sheldon: Wow, I'm on fire tonight
Sheldon: I spoke with Leonard's mother, and she made me feel better.
Leonard: I don't know who you talked to, but that wasn't my mother.
Mrs. Cooper, hi, it's Penny. I think I broke your son.
Penny
Mother, she's an atheist, not a vampire.
Sheldon
Bernadette: Are those Russian rockets safe?
Howard: Well, I mean, safe as it can be when it was build by the good folks who brought you Chernobyl.
Leonard: Well, it wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?
Leonard: Helping women?
Sheldon: Helping anyone. People should take care of themselves.
Leonard: Oh, like yesterday when you made me drive you to the dry cleaners, the pharmacy and the post office?
Kripke: My work would suffer too if I was getting laid all the time.
Sheldon: Yes. That is the reason. My work is suffering because of all the laid I am getting.
Kripke: You lucky bastard.
Sheldon: What can I say, you know? She enjoys my genitals. I am giving them to her on a nightly basis.
Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I still can't sleep.
That offer is only good until the third trimester. I can't risk getting amniotic fluid on my spot.
Sheldon
Leonard: You are not Isaac Newton.
Sheldon: No, no, that's true. Gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple
