Raj: Hands off my sister.
Sheldon: Why would I touch her? She's covered in airplane germs.

Have to sign off now. My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins.

Amy

Sheldon: I assure you I am quite real and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.
Mrs. Fowler: What?
Sheldon: Oh yes, we are like wild animals in heat. It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt.

Sheldon: I want you to know that I'm genuinely concerned about your well-being.
Leonard: Thank you.
Sheldon: You're welcome. But it's still no reason to have your feet in my spot.

I was once robbed by a pre-op transsexual on J-Date and that didn't even crack my top ten.

Wolowitz

Leonard: Have you considered telling her your feelings?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: Well let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane, wrapped helicly around an axis.
Sheldon: Screwed.
Leonard: There you go.

I met her a comic con, the one place where saying, "I have a comic book store" is an actual pick up line.

Stuart

Leonard: How can you have a girlfriend you can't even speak to women?
Raj: Two words: deaf chick. It doesn't matter if i can't talk cause she can't hear me.
Leonard: What?
Raj: That's what she said.

When I call him his phone plays Browned Eyed Girl. Which now what I think about it is not so good.

Raj

If they took all the money trying to make a decent Hulk movie, they could probably just make an actual Hulk.

Leonard

Wolowitz: I took a scuba diving course over the summer, but it turns out I'm terrified of the ocean.
Bernadette: That's too bad.
Wolowitz: You wouldn't know anybody who wants to buy a wet suit? Boy's large?

Wolowitz: Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose!
Raj: Considering its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on.

The Big Bang Theory Season 4 Quotes

You have broad hips and a certain corn-fed vigor. Is your womb available for rental?

Sheldon

At best, it's a modest leap forward from the technology that gave us Country Bear Jamboree.

Sheldon